Lately I've found that I've been worrying too much… and this thought in turn is worrying me even more…
There are some stuffs in my life… that makes me think so much that I literally get burnt out by it… my heads hurting and I just feel… a profound sense of sadness…
I need to think about m majors… for my future… My social proficiency and such…
I guess the problem lies in my search for perfection.
I wonder how I got this way… I used to be so carefree, so happy about the little things in life… I wonder if this is just a course that most people take from the result of society…
Truthfully… I just worry if I am taking the "right" steps in almost everything… My mental and spiritual choices that I am making.
I just get so angry sometimes… about society and about the stuffs I don't know… because like I said I want perfection… I want to know and do everything the right way… as I see it.
I worry about almost everything I read… like the other day I was reading about visual thinkers… and I thought I was one of those, and that I wouldn't be able to do well in the kinds of jobs that I had in my mind…
Hmmm I am not sure… there are so much problems with the world… but I guess nobody can be perfect.
A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault. ~John Henry Newman
I feel like a desperate man trying to fill up a broken bucket with quicksand…
But I guess life isn't about having perfection… Just the strive for excellence.
Yeah for awhile I've been hating on the government and society… for not doing certain things right… but I guess I am imperfect myself so I don't really have the right to judge…
All we can do is find out what's imperfect about us and work on improving it, everything will come with time I guess.
Just work on being myself… Improving my faults… Going on with life, learning to drive and GET A JOB!
Yeah that's the way I need to go from now on… Not worrying about these things that I've been worrying about for the thousandth times.
Just try the best I can, because I have much to improve on. If I want perfection right now and also fear it at the same time. I'll never be able to improve… I need to not be scared of being wrong, and seek truth from which ever direction it comes.
Do not worry about everything… if you did lose some good traits from your past self… Than you also have gained new ones.
There are many problems in the world… a lot of false notions… but it's not like one man can take care of all of those… As time goes on and the workings of the world change there will always be problems… But you need to look at the good sides of life… No matter how slim they may be.
I always told myself that the world is what you make of it…. What you perceive it is…
And I haven't found any reason to distrust this statement yet so I'll keep on trucking with that.
I am not saying you shouldn't stop trying… but sometimes you need to stop worrying/ thinking about stuffs and just work to acheive stuffs in the real world.
Do the best you can, and if that doesn't reach perfection than that's fine.
Face fears everyday, and work to be a person who's proud with oneself because you knew you've always been honourable and a hardworker… even if everybody else doesn't see you that way.
What's important is how you feel about yourself, because your basically writing your own book in life… Your writing your "soul" as you go a long… Sometimes reshaping it, sometimes coloring it a different color…
But when that time comes when you have to pass… No matter how soon that might be… You'll leave with a smile on your face because you know that you've been true to yourself, and you've done all you can.
