I really am the stupidist person I know. I do things that are so stupid, then wonder why the result is not what I wanted.. Maybe I was born with a disposition to being stupid. Is there a stupidity gene? If there is.. I have it.

Yesterday, I did some stupid things. And no surprise that the outcome has left me in a total state of mess in which I have no idea what I can do about it.

I’m not expecting any comments about this.

My day yesterday.

Mum left for work around 8am, my sister left for school around 730am. I started drinking around 10am.

I was going to go to school. I was only planning on having just drinking a tiny bit. I was fooling myself right then and there.

I decided that I have to leave the house. I grabbed what was left of my alcohol, but it into a empty coke bottle, and went out to catch a bus. Where I was going.. I have no idea.

By the time I got into town, definatly on my way on being drunk, I decided that I was going to go to the casino. Have a few drinks, and maybe play some Blackjack. So I got on a bus that took me down that way.

When I got to the casino, I made my way to the first bar I could find, grabbed myself a sandwitch and sat in the outside area. When I finished that one, I orderd another one, sat outside again for a while.

By now, I’m definatly drunk. I’m not to the point of passing out, but drunk.

I got $100 out of my bank account. I figured that I’ll do well, and come out on top. I know .. stupid right there.

Anyway the $5 min tables were only pontoon, so I played there. After about an hour, I’m 100 down. Drinking more. Then .. Stupid me, decided that if i get another 40 dollars out, my luck will change. .. It didn’t.

So now i’m drunk, a 140 dollars out of pocket. I managed to find my way out to the main road, get another bus back into town, then called mum to say that evening classes had been cancelled, and if she could pick me up. I told her that we had decided to go to the local pub to have a few drinks first. I knew she would see that I was drunk, If not she would definatly smell it. I could smell it.

She came and picked me up. By the time I got home, I started to get the shakes. this is me sobering up. I allways seem to get the shakes. I went to bed early and slept well.

Today, I wake up with 30 dollars to my name until next friday. I’m in trouble. I’m hoping that I might get a bit of money for my birthday on Saturday. Otherwise, I really don’t know what i’m going to do.

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On other news, Mum keeps on at me about what I want to do for my Birthday. To be honest, I don’t really want to do anything. She said that there is a nice resturant in town, and we should go there. I said that would be fine. I really don’t care. She said that I should invite my father and his new wife and my stepsister and stepbrother. Ugh.. I’d rather not, but I guess I have to now. I’m just hoping that they are busy. fingers crossed.