Just an update for today.
I’m not happy…I’m not glad. But I’m not mad or sad. I’m just not satisfies with life at the moment. My husband pissed me off this morning. It’s kinda my fault and kinda his fault as well. And he just wasnt very nice about the whole thing. Wasnt a good start to the day. It’s day 2 of screw ups at work. I had a good streak going where I thought my boss ACTUALLY liked me for once after 6 months of working here. Now I’m starting to flood the boat on that one apparently. Hopefully she will be in a better mood when we go to lunch today for her be-lated bday celebration.
i’m not looking forward to my birthday coming up in less than a month. Birthdays always seem to suck for me. I think i get my hopes up and think it will be better this year and people will actually want to hang out with me on my birthday, but it never happens. So this year I’m keeping it simple….and b/c it’s the big 2-3 and there really arent any exciting birthdays after 21. So my husband and I are heading to my parents since it’s a 3 day weekend…which i made 4 b/c i dont want to drive back on my birthday. I plan on just sitting around and doing nothing with just the 4 of use….6 if you include the dogs. I know it will still be disappointing bc i will secret hope that something amazing happens and all my friends will surprise me…but i know it will be a let down. I haven’t had a bday with friends since i was 18….and the last time I actually had fun at a birthday….i was maybe 6 or 7. I’m the one who always tried to make sure everyone else is having fun before i can have fun. And they never seem to have fun (even though they try to convince me that they do) and so i dont try to have fun. I always seem to dwell on the suckyness of it all.
Anyway…that’s my thought for the day. I have a feeling I will have more later though.