I can barely make it right now.When I'm left alone, bad things happen to me and my ugly little monster peeks out and tries to overtake me.I become cruel but swift-minded.I get very worked up and very very anxious.Like I am now.I just got home from school and I'm hunting.I'm hunting for Jo.
He turns my body into jello and he keeps me safe.He's saved my life a total of 3 times but then he disappeared for a year and a half and I don't even know why or how or anything because I didn't speak to him all that time.I feared that he would forget me but I found him just in time about 9 months ago.He remembered me and told me he still loved me.Then he…he left again.Many times without explanation.He emails me.That's how we keep in contact now.At the moment, we are going on a month of him being gone.I know he's only doing it to jerk me around because he knows I'll always be here waiting for him.Always.He completes me and makes me happier than almost anything.He knows it.But yet he still abandons me and I never know when it'll happen or for how long.But I'm still waiting on him.
He always shows up at the times I am most in despair, and right now I don't see myself hitting rock bottom yet.
Maybe he'll never come back.
It's so hard to love him and be so devoted to him.
I've never seen him in my life.
I've never met him but I know I love him.I know I need him.I dream of him, I sing songs to the shadows of him in my mind.I'm there in his arms, or for this matter, the arms of one that may not exist.In my dreams I get ghost kisses from the one who says "I care enough to love you, Bri."
Jo, my Joey.Where have you gone and will you ever be back?