Today was the big day with the client in town.  I had meetings to run and people to entertain at lunch and dinner.  I kept my stuff together, I paid attention during the meetings, I was a leader, and when it came time for the small talk at the meals, I didn’t sink into my shell.  Instead I was pleasant and helped keep the convesation going.  The client seems very happy with how thing are going and I only have one more day to go before they are gone.  Best of all, I’m not too stressed.  I’m actually more anxious about having to drive in the snow tomorrow than anything else!!!

I am disappointed, though, because I was really hoping to hear from a guy on a dating website who has caught my eye.  We have already exchanged a few emails and seem to be a good fit.  But because of my various mood states which resulted in me feeling too overwhelmed, lazy, indifferent, or unconfident to write, I took a few days to get back to him.  Now I’m afraid he’ll have dismissed me entirely.  I really thought I’d hear from him today.  Well, it is my own fault.  If I had only gotten my act together then and wrote him promptly.  A common courtesty.  I won’t make the same mistake in the future.  In the meantime, I’ll try to forget about him so I don’t continue to get my hopes up, and continue to be disappointed.

I slept poorly last night, waking up many times wide awake, and today I felt irritable at moments.  It seems like there are more hypomanic symptoms breaking through the depression.  Probably nothing to worry about.  Fortunately I see my pDoc tomorrow so I can bring her into the loop.

Take care everyonel  Sweet dreams.

  1. fschubart 13 years ago

    Looks like you”re keeping things together okay. It”s good to be interested in dating, but don”t be so interested that you stop taking care of yourself. I know that sounds selfish, but when you look at it, you have to be selfish in managing your bipolar disorder if you are going to be successful in managing anything else. When you enter a relationship you are making your bipolar disorder not only your problem, but their problem also. You can be fairly confident that most people that don”t have that disorder won”t understand it, and you should be grateful that they don”t. As I”m sure you know from experience, it”s not a disorder that you would wish on anyone, especially those you care about. For this reason, alot of people in that situation, much like myself don”t tell the other person about that disorder and too often it spells disaster. I know it did for me. You don”t want to chase the other person away, or tell them too soon before getting to know you, but when you are entering into a relationship, it is assumed that you want to work as a team, and if the other person has a problem with you being bipolar, then they have a problem with a large part of you. I don”t mean that it defines you or anything, but your mental health should come first, and it looks like you do a great job managing it. Keep up the great work!!!!!!!!!

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  2. AbbyD 13 years ago

    I”m so glad everything went as you”d hoped with your client in town, I had a really good feeling about it…  Proud of you, keep up all the hard work!!!

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