Things are getting worse. I’m becoming more and more depressed everyday and I don’t know what to do. Nothing works. Medication isn’t working nor does therapy. I have no real friends and no reason for being here. I can’t stand being around people and I have no real meaningful relationships with anyone. It wouldn’t make a difference if I died. Most of life has been a complete waste and it’s getting worse. I’m starting to resent people in general. I’m constantly alone and becoming more and more isolated. My parents use to be the main and only reason that prevented me from killing myself, but not anymore. Who cares if I die, I don’t care anymore. I don’t connect with anyone and I don’t think I ever have. I’m done trying to connect with anyone, it no longer matters. My life has no meaning, it never has. Last year and the year before were hell and this year doesn’t seem to be any better. Being hospitalized did nothing to help me, and like everything else in my life was a waste of time. Everything is dark. There’s no one I feel comfortable talking to anymore. I’ve trusted people in the past which was a mistake. I’m done putting my trust in people when all they do is let you down. The world just seems so apathetic and cold. My life has always been pointless. All my life I’ve struggled with want I want to do with my life and I still don’t know. I’m done reaching out to people and I’m done trying to form connections with people. There’s no reason for me to be here, no reason for me to be alive. Life is just so mundane and I can’t take it anymore. I’m done living in pain and I’m done suffering. Suicide is the only way out for me.

6 Comments
  1. lastoneleft 5 days ago

    Everything you are feeling and experiencing is identical to me, only difference being my whole family passed away, fueling me to want death as well.

    But life is never predictable and some sort of happiness could hit us out of nowhere (or at least the beginning of happiness)

    I want to give up and be released from the pain, too. But i just keep hanging on hoping for life to do it’s thing.

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  2. condemned 4 days ago

    I have dramatically changed how I see depression. I now think of it as an enemy, a saboteur. It clouds every aspect of life with darkness and does everything to convince you that you are seeing the truth.

    “Everything is dark,” you say? Not quite. You can believe my perspective that depression is an evil force, or you can discard the idea as insanity, but the bottom line is that you are not seeing things clearly. Don’t make big decisions when you don’t have the right facts.

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  3. penguin10293 4 days ago

    We have many things in common. I have “friends” but only one of this is a true friend. But still, I won’t share anything with her because I’m so scared to. I deal with both anxiety and depression. I hope you feel better. I told someone about my mental health issues because they asked, and no one has ever asked me so I decided to not let the opportunity slide. I realize how bad of an idea it was. Everyone is always like, it’ll be better than you think if you talk to someone about it. It is if that person has no clue who you actually are. I recently contacted a support group online but it didn’t really help. Sometimes the person I told about my mental health is the nicest person ever. But sometimes he hurts me so bad I don’t even know why I told him. But that’s enough about me. I hope you understand that suicide seems like the best option right now, but I swear to you in 10 years from now you’ll look back and be glad you never gave up. Because of your experience, you will be so much more successful than others who have had the easiest life of all. You’ll be able to comfort others because you know what it feels like. People who have never had depression will never know what it feels like, which is a good thing unless you’re helping someone who is actually dealing with it. Just know you’re not alone, and we’re all here for you.

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  4. evey 3 days ago

    No life is meaningless. There is always SOMETHING to hope for, something to hold on to. I have been suicidal of late as well, but I will overcome it. You can also!!

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  5. poppy21 18 hours ago

    Maybe that medication wasn’t the right one there are many try again it’s ok they aren’t all the same. What type of therapy again there are different sorts. Maybe the therapy is and I appreciate this might sound lame but animals, fitness, gardening. Find that one thing you once enjoyed and try it again. And these things might involve people it might not but let’s build up you first then work on being with others. Breathe.

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