Iv'e been trying to confront my mom about her "problem". She's been hitting the cold meds too hard lately. I mean yeah I get it it's winter and 9 months ago i dipped into her xanacs stash, but seriously, I invented the codine excuses. And for heaven's sake she's not even sick! I told her I know she got my doctor to write me codines for my namonia and that I think it's messed up. Of course she came up with the worst excuse " I got it just incase you would need it. " " I would claw my own eyes out before I would consider touching codines again mom"….."Just incase"….Whatever, She's been like this ever since I could remember so I could care less I guess. I just hate it that she mixes all these cold meds, with anxiety meds, with codines and drives….And sleeps all day. I know tomorow morning she will get all over my case for having a freakin' beer tonight just to deflect her stupid addiction but I'm not even going to entertain that conversation. I'm American. My Ex-wife and I would have beers almost everynight with our friends it's normal. Whatever.

My brother The eternal bachlor got tricked into a relationship with some skank he can;t stand. I asked him about it today, he got all mad, saying he doesn't want to talk about it. There is some trend going on now in israel with girls her age where they get pregnant and trap their bfs into getting married. She fits the profile. Oh sh**t. My mom woke up. I stay up late at night cause it's my time, to be alone, listen to music have a beer smoke cigs, bond with my bunny and not be botherd with my mom robo-tripping and my brother being all depressed about his lame relationship.

I hate hearing the footsteps through the walls, it scares me to death. I don't know why.

Great now my brother is back.

" are you smoking in your room?"

"What are you doing?"

"Tell your brother he can't mix antihisthemines and alcohol!"

Jesus….I can hear my brother getting in the house, he's hammerd. it's 3 am.

my poor bunny is so sensitive to all this maddness and he finally got some rest now he's going all bezerk.

Atleast I don't feel like using, which is the silver linening in this whole situation. Usually my madhouse of a life drives me strait to drugs. Normally I would tear my room apart right about now looking for an emergancy fix…..now the only thing I am considering is putting a towel on the door crack so I can smoke a cig, finnish my beer listen to music, calm my bunny and buisness as usual.

God, I can't wait to get on that plane 7 months from now and fly away from this hell hole. Any where would be heaven compared to living in Isra-Hell.