It always seems to me that when I am finally starting to feel good about life and about myself, people start flocking to me with all of their problems and questions that I can't fix or answer. People just come out of the woodwork- people that I hardly ever talk to to begin with. I can understand that maybe they can sense my positive energy- because that's how people work- and perhaps they just want to feel it too, but can't they see how selfish they're being? Or is it rude of me to say any of this? Some of these people were there for me when my life was falling apart and of course I want to help the people that I love, but when they demand everything from me when I'm just learning to stand on my own two feet, it's exhausting and I feel like I don't have any energy to spare for myself. Unfortunately, my depression and anxiety leave me unlike a normal person that might have extra energy to spare. I struggle to find energy for myself and when I do, I count it to be a small victory. They don't understand that when I am happy, I'm FIGHTING to be happy- it's not just something I can hand out to people.
Whenever this happens, I start to isolate myself from people. I feel that if they can't get to me, then they won't try to take from me anymore, but this also has some negative effects. I start to feel alone again and then I find that I've pushed everyone away.
These people, while they were being there for me, told me consistently that they want me to feel better and to do what I need to in order to be happy and feel good about life. I would think that they would be happy for me and respectful of the fact that I'm feeling better, but not. Instead, they use me as an emotional dumping ground. I can hardly handle my own problems, I can't handle everyone else's problems all at once. I would be fine if it were just one or two of my friends coming to me for help, but that's not the case. In this case, it's seriously EVERYONE I'm talking to that's asking something of me. That's just too much to handle. I don't want to hurt these people by not giving them the help that they want, but I need to take care of myself, too.