I really can’t get over that I’m turning 40 in two years. I wouldn’t say I’m at the point where I’m having a panic attack, but my big fear is once I do hit 40 and my life is still where it is now I might seriously have a mental and emotional breakdown.

I don’t even know what I can really do beforehand. I’d like to be married and be in a job that I consider has career potential. You can’t really plan on finding the right person. I could go on dating sites, but I just don’t feel comfortable with those. Plus I’ve tried dating sites in the past and I haven’t really met anyone that way. Most girls aren’t really interested in me mostly because I’m only 5’6” and they usually look for taller guys. Sigh. I feel like I have a better chance of finding a different job and it’s something I definitely want to work on.

It’s scary also because I have a much different perspective on life. I feel like I’m already at the halfway point and that’s a very terrifying thought. I can’t believe how quickly life has gone by so far. I’m also worried about my health slowly deteriorating. I already have really bad back issues. Then there’s the thought of what have I really done with my life up until this point. I feel like I haven’t really done much.

I’m having a difficult time transitioning into this period of my life. If you are reading this and have any suggestions I would greatly appreciate it. It has definitely loomed over me for a few months now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. For now I’m just doing the best I can and trying to do what I can each day to be productive and be proud of myself.