Hay, guys it’s me Felix. You probably don’t know me. I like chocolate, dogs, video games, and much more I can’t think of. What do you guys like? Anyhow, I should probably start writing now. I’m sorry if it gets ramblely.
I’m getting a binder on Friday. I’m not trans…I don’t know what I am. Somewhere in the plus part of LGBTQ+. Honestly..I’m kind of scared, but also excited, but more scared. If I like it..dose that mean I’m trans? Will people notice? Do people even look at your boobs? Are they going to look down at my chest, and be like where did her boobs go? [my preferred pronouns are they/them]
I’m sorry. I don’t now the maturity on here, but I hope I’m not being inappropriate. I need to get theses things out here, and since I can’t put it into a newspaper, and broadcast to the school, I’ll settle for here. Back to…my soon to be flat chest.
Going on the theme that I like it, what dose this mean? Am I trans? I know its contradictory to what I said above, but that thought has crossed my mind a thousand times. But if I was trans, would I feel absolute sick of my chest one day, and feel fine the next? Am I faking it? Making it up? I honestly can’t imagine myself with a dick…but when I look at boys..I sometimes wish to look like them. Square and boxy.
With those wonderful clothes. I have a couple boy shirts, and there supremely comfortable. So that raises another question, am I cross dresser?
Or Gender fluid? Sometimes I feel like a guy, or a girl, or something. Am I genderfluid?
It would be the one that makes a lot of sense; I asked mom and dad to call me they/them and they did..and it felt fine. No revelation of truth. I guess I kinda wanted a revelation of truth, I’m tired of digging for answers. Maybe instead of looking at books, at webs, I should look inside myself.
But I’m scared.
What will I find there?
Will it rock my world, leave me on the broken ground..or will it transform me, leave me healed?
Time, my friend. It takes time.
Thanks pisce!:} I accept you replying to my blog post a lot :}
This is obviously a turning point in your life. The good news is that you have time on your side. You also have to understand that just because you have questions the answers may not be there until the time is right. Suggestion, instead of going into a tailspin, take a break from the questions and just live your life. Wake up every day with the thought that you are going to make a difference in the world today by doing something good for someone else. Come out of yourself and see the community and people around you. If you begin to walk through life instead of standing on the side of the road afraid, the answers you are seeking will come to you.