To all my friends and family, and too anyone else i adore.
I have always put my heart and soul into living life and making the most of what I have. Always making a point of not giving up. And due to this i was stuck in a horrfic, vile relationship with a person who can not be classed as a human being. I didn’t want to give up on him. But I did. And i know i did the right thing. But i know i will never escape my personality disorder. I’m trapped and I cannot escape. I’m sick of putting on a smily face and hoping nobody notices the cracks. I’m destroying lives and no matter how bad you all feel now. Give it a while and you will heal.
Charmaine, my beautifull neice. I will watch you grow into an amazing woman from the stars. And you can always talk to me if you need me. xx
Mum, I know you didn’t bellieve my illness but it was here and it was true, now you will have nothing to be ashamed of I love you mum.xxx
Dad, we were never close I know, but please take care. I always loved you Dad.xx
Gemmzy, hey my big sis. I know you will be crying but dont. Remember what Fergie said "Big Girls Dont Cry". You spent so long looking after me and guiding me. Now it is my turn i will always be there. xx
Luke, my brother. I know in the past we have screamed and shouted at each other until our throats were sore. But You were always there when i needed you, when I got beaten up at school you were at the gates waiting to protect me. There was nothin you could have done babes. So please dont cry. xx
Meg, My other half, my twin. I know it will be hard to face this big world without me, but you are so strong, and i know Gem and Luke will take care of you. You will make an amazing teacher, just like Gem. You will be happy babs. I care so much about you, and i know you don’t understand why i’m doing this and in all honesty i hope you never do. The pain in my mind was unbearable. I would never want you to experience that. Take care of Charmaine for me hunny. I love you xx
Ant, babe i love you and I always will, but you deserve better. Love can only do so much, you need more than words and feelings. Soon you will see.The day you took me to the church park and sang fix you to me was so amazing, but sadly hun, i couldn’t be fixed. I love you babe xx
Nan, my light in life, you are everything to me Nan. I love you will all my heart. I will meet you in hevean, but not too soon i hope.xx
To all my friends: Do not be upset, do not feel to blame, nothing anyone could have said or done would have changed my mind right now. But thank you for all the support you gave me and all the times we laughed and cried at school or at a party. Don’t forget me.
Please do not cry.
I am at peace now, where I have been craving to be for so long.
I love you all
Please don’t forget me.