SO I blogged about this guy b4…Well he’s been kinda gone for a few days..but his friends were’nt THAT concerned b4…asked me last night whne id last talked ti him…guess id been the last one to talk to him Saturday…but i knoew he’d been on line sunday as he’d open (but not replied to whci was odd) an email from me on his myspace sunday afternoon) we usually talk everyday…on the phone, IM, etc…I LOVE that…we just have a very easy time talking about all sorts of stuff & it makes me feel good & happy…we also had plans for tommorrow night, i was gonna make him dinner & id have a chance to talk to him in person…well he’s still M.I.A. tonight his friends asked me again if he’d called me or id seen him…no 🙁 and now his cell is disconnected…that means he hasnt been to work…and his truck has been at his friends since friday…so unless we hear from him by morning…they r filing a missing person report…now im soo scared…worried…angry, confused…IDK~i mean did he just dissapear on his own? is it bcuz hes upset & needs to be away from everyone & think or something? but couldnt he have told someone? is that wrong of me to think? or did something happen to him….if/when he does come back…what will happen? should i be mad…should ijust be happy hes ok? will we b ok? idk what to do, what to think or expect…im already omixed up in general,,,meds not working…confused about where we are..we’d had a good talk IDK…sry im rambling but..this new news & his dissapearing..hurts, & idk..jsut.ehh…and i cant sleep just keep thinking too much…racing thoughts..:sad::confused1:i miss him & talking to him…..i just wish he would come home…be ok…and we’d have a chance to see what happens with us…but IDK…if there is still a chance for an us? like i said if/when he gets back..depeniding on why he left anyway..sry for the typos n spelling…jsut ugh kthx:sad:

  1. DeeDee 16 years ago

    Good lord woman:shocked:.. I would not know what to think , but I would be pulling my hair out … ugh I can get real worked up and worried esp if he was supposed to call at a certain time… if I do not get a call when I am supposed to my mind starts making a list starts out with , well he will call in a bit and the longer it goes he was ignoring me,he is hurt, murdered, last but not least CHEATING.. and then when I do get the call I am either happy he is not dead or mad at hell for “maybe cheating” or in my mind just not caring..:dizzy:.. yeah but I feel your pain ~~ keep us updated and I will be hopeing for the best ~~{{Hugs}}~

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  2. DeeDee 16 years ago

    Another post … I was thinking about the title of your post “scared & Lonely”:sad: sounds like a title for me most of the time , throw in a litte bit of emptyness , a dash of Guilt when I do talk to a man.. I have been married almost 6 years and god forbid I even think of a guy looking at me or likeing me I automaticly feel huge guilt for what ??? nothing .. but I have / had been talking to this one nice guy on line and .. I was thinking I really like this guy seems to good to be true and damn I am married { I do not cheat} and I am real lonely {Hubby is in Korea till January ,doing a year tour } and then I have BPD and it is like a love hate relationship from one moment to the next , and I like this guy just talking to me aknowleging {haha look how I spelt that word…{ that I am alive / sigh the guilt , the lonely ness .. a sweet guy and damn cute at that
    ,then the phome rings and it is hubby and I am punched in the gut sick about it all….. okay I have rambled long enuff and yes I know my spelling sucks {blames it on my fast typing skills ~~~~ I am also glad this guy lives far far away ..or who knows if he gave me the green light:biggrin: /BAD BAD DEEDEE:sad:

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  3. DeeDee 16 years ago

    Me again making an ass out of myself … I am sooooo stupid /points down to my last post .. why would I ever think that I could be worthy of any one for any thing .. how can your parents erase you and make you a nobody as soon as you are born?““`/wine off /throws the [email protected] cheese

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