I'm going to tell whoevers reading this the story of my life. My ocd life and my real life. When i look back over the first 20 years of my life ocd is a small shadow in my life It's a small and hateful whisper at the back of my consciousness.

If my ocd hadn't worsened I suspect I would have continued like this for many years with ocd a part of my life but not the main part of my life. i would have checked plugs and washed my hands and life would have continued.

Alas thats is not how my life played out. Two years ago my ocd mutated and it was no longer a bearable quirk but a soul-destroying monster. It began during Christmas 08. I had had a very difficult and tiring semester and college and was greatly anticipating my six week break. However a combination of my nature and Mother Nature led to my ocd mutation.

We had for the fist time in many years a bitterly cold winter. Everyday was frosty and snowy. My family live on a narrow and twisted road that is lethal in icy condtiions. My parents travelled to and from work and tried to avoid any other journeys. Naturally enough my social life came to a standstill. I rarely left the house during that 6 week period. Maybe my ocd could have withstood this enforced isolation had not my own nature interfered. I love to go to bed late and get up late. I hate exercise. I love all the foods that are bad for me. I began going to bed later and later culminating in a 6am bedtime most days. I got up at 2 or3 pm. Beause of the short days most days i saw very little sunlight. I have come to realise this very unhealthy lifestyle sent me spiralling into a blackhole of ocd and anxiety. By the time I returned to college the damage was done. My constant companion was fear. Two years later fear is still always by my side. Maybe someday i'll outrun it……..