It is almost time for my husband to be home, YAY! After a peaceful morning , i am at that point of the day where i am depressed, or having false guilt for something i may have said today or voiced today. When i speak to someone and recieve no reply, then they must be busy, must of forgot to reply back to me, honest mistake. Oh wait, it happens all the time, im begginningto think there is a underlying reason for this reaction.
Maybe my conversations are of no interest, maybe i am smarter, maybe my points are better, maybe there is envy, maybe im not likable.
i dont know. why am i always reaching out to say hello how are you? if i dont i am forgotten altogether.
It has been almost 2 weeks since one person hasnt spoken to me, but i decided to wait for the invitation to conversation, a how are you would be nice, or hello.
We all have our issues in life and what bothers us and what doesnt bother us, for me its this.
Probably because i am a only child so i dont have a person to turn to or talk to all the time, that person that just cares.
Its funny though when people need something from me, they will talk, im at a point in my life when i dont need people like that. I just want someone to hang out with, chill with, have deep conversation with, dont get me wrong my husband fulfills all those things, but i want a friend,
The misery of watching everyone around you choose not to reach out to you.
The misery of asking for donations for a special cause and recieve no reply, but watch someone else ask and it floods with responses. (not the same cause, but we know the same people)
I am a human service volunteer , i wont give up i manage to get what i want to help out, but more is better.
Oh the joys of depression. Im ok though, just needed to say all this.
It doesnt matter, i will survive.