I had come out to my Mom and Brother, Aug 6 and it did not go well. For a long while I have questioned my gender and I’m still not sure if I am gender fluid, trans, or other.
My mother is old fashioned in the whole gender norms, but my brother is pretty progressive, at least for the most part. We were talking about past people that are definitely better without them in our lives. He said something so surprising and disappointing to me while on that topic.
“Trans is a mental health disorder like bulemia. You wouldn’t enable someone’s unhealthy eating habits.”
I was extremely hurt, so I got up with saying anything and went into the room I was staying. He caught up to me and said ” I don’t know what I said to warrant that response, but could we at least talk about it?”. I went back to the other we were sitting and said “I have never seen you do visibly upset, what’s wrong?”. So I told them I’ve had gender dysphoria for a long time now, and of course they were shocked.
They had questions, which is a fair response but I kept on getting interrupted constantly and not able to finish sentences. I was getting more and more flustered that I’m sure I was no longer able to explain myself. So I just sat there bring talked at and responding when I was expected to. He said he would support me no matter what, but never took back his viewpoint and skirted around the answer when asked.
I wrote my brother a long message trying to say what I was attempting to say the previous day. When he woke up he said it was a long message and he’ll ready and respond when he gets more time. My Mom and I went to get coffee and she asked if my wife makes me emasculated and that is the reason I feel this way. She needs to find the reason for something wrong, but there is nothing wrong because it is not hurting anyone and it is just a way I want to express myself.
I felt so invalidated about my feelings that night. My brother still has not responded to my message 15 days later, so the support he had seems so insincere and hollow.
Sorry for reposting this. I went to edit the tags and deleted it by accident
Wow,
First off thank you for sharing. I am a woman and have always identified as a woman but the confusion and the unknown territory seems very intense. I hope you know life is to short to not be honest with yourself. If this is the journey your life is pulling you into, my advice is dont run from it. Its not easy being different but its also not a crime or a psychological disorder. Your right. You aren’t hurting no one and you are having your own human experience and that might make people uncomfortable.
Thank you littlewing 🙂 I’ve not been too active on the site other than put my feelings into actual words in blogs. For a bit I just felt this place was giving me anxieties dealing with certain people.
As for my coming out, I didn’t want to do it but I was so hurt by what my brother that he could tell I was extremely upset. Even 2 months after this incident, he has not contacted me. If he doesn’t want to have a sibling relationship with me. Who ever I am when I figure it out, I’d much rather feel genuinely loved and accepted.