In the early morning hours it's there

In the late night hours it's there

This damn depression and sadness that just won't go

No matter what I say or what I know

My mind keeps racing with fear and doubt

At times so much that I"d just like to be able to literally cut it out

To just get rid of the pain, and the fear, and the dread

That daily plagues my mind, and races through my head

In a room full of people, can anybody really see

that the hurt little girl inside of me just longs to be free

So she can run and play and just be a kid

No fear, no rejection, just play and having fun

And not be tormented by the thoughts of what others have done

Can anybody see me….does anybody care???

or am I fading into the background, where I can try to hide

even from myself that a lot of times, I wish I'd died

All those years ago when the abuse first started

When my troubles began and my innocence departed

Why did he hurt me, what did I do

I was just a kid, but now I'm grown and the pain is still so real

A pain and a rejection that even my worst enemy shouldn't feel

When you look at me what do you see???

I'm not always the face you see…sometimes I just want to be held, want to be loved, want to know you care

Thank you to my friends, who bear with me through the good…and the bad days when I normally can't deal with myself

Thank you for showing me that love, that gift that I didn't have as a kid

To know that I"m loved and cared for…regardless of what any of them did

Regardless of the disease, the condition of the heart

I just need you to stand by me, even when I might try to run

Because I know I need you till the battle is won

And the damn depression is beat, and it's dust in my mind

Then I can and will FINALLY have the PEACE i've so longed to find

Not my normal type of poem that I write, but definitely some of the thought's I've had lately. if you have the time to read it all the way though, thanks in advance…