I missed one bloody day of school, 2 really, but since I'm in college, classes are staggered. Anyway, I'm so lost after missing one math class 🙁 I feel so stupid. I went to the tutoring center at my college and it didn't help much. Basically it's students tutoring students. Anyway, I left completely confused. I'd go talk with my professor except I doubt he'd give a dam.
So here I am, Tuesday and homework is due in nine hours and I haven't got a clue on how to do the dam math. There is no doubt I'm going to the Christian group though, even though I probably should not go. The group is the highlight of me week and the only thing I look forward to.
Being behind makes me curse my Hydrocephalus. I thought I was having a shunt malfunction a few weeks ago so I had my mom come get me at college. We went to the ER the next morning and they did a CAT scan. There was nothing wrong!!!!! If only there had been something wrong!!!!! I still, weeks later, don't feel like myself.
Luckily I seee my psychiatrist Friday. What am I supposed to tell him?? Stop f***ing with my meds and put me back on what I was originally on when I first started seeing him??? I would LOVE to tell him that but thanks to my passive agressive nature, it will not happen. I'll just let him put me on whatever he feels like and keep quiet. After all what do I know about medications?? I'm just a stupid college student who is studying psychology.
God, what I would give for a knife at this moment…..sorry to whoever, if anyone, reads this. I'm at a loss as to what to do. My parents…they would just find a way to berate me for something. I feel like this whole semester has been f***ed.
Thanks if anyone read this…..