So this is just some ranting I had typed down one evening on Google Docs. It probably doesn't make sense, so sorry. Just my thoughts on… well, thoughts. Not finished. Again, it was just a random thought process I felt like exploring and writing out. The original was actually in Romanian! Hahah. Since that was the language I had been writing in beforehand (I was writing emails to my grandparents in Cluj-Napoca, Romania – yes, they email! Shocker, right?)
It’s a funny prospect, thinking. Thoughts are the lyrics to our lives, written and sung bit by bit. Only, sometimes, the lyrics get messy and loud, forming a cobweb that seems impossible to untangle. Those thoughts, I think, are the ones that are worth being untangled. Those are the thoughts that evolve and flourish around emotion. If every thought was calculated, contained, and unraveled, the emotion would disappear. Would we want that? A world where everyone’s thoughts are clear and easy to read? A world where the words mysterious and individual don’t exist?
All day, every day, our minds are thinking. Sometimes, I wonder: Do our thoughts have a voice? Rhetorically speaking, we voice our thoughts every time we talk. But do the words and ideas in your head really have a voice? Think of your name. It’s a simple, conditionally reflexive word that generally comes up in day-to-day conversation. Now, think deeper. Listen to the word in your head. Is it your voice saying your name? A friend’s? A lover’s? Maybe even a celebrity’s? The point is, your mind can turn an uncomplicated word into something extraordinarily complex.
Dreams. Have you ever tried to decipher a dream of yours? If you have, you know that they aren’t exactly easy to translate. That’s because your dreams generally come from your subconscious, meaning they derive from unconscious thoughts – thoughts that you don’t even know you’re thinking while you’re thinking them! Sometimes dreams can be warnings, memories of the past, solutions to realistic problems, ingenious ideas, or even nothing at all! But just because a dream is trying to warn you, doesn’t mean the dream is all that bad. No, a bad dream, or a nightmare, is completely different. Personally, I find the idea of nightmares to be much more compelling than dreams themselves. A nightmare can be filled with warnings, as well, although much more concentrated. It can also be an interpretation of your phobias, a bad memory of the past, or just a reenactment of a horror movie you’ve watched (which, I know, is sort of redundant to the phobia thing).
Another thing to consider is the spoken tongue – or even the written word. Your native tongue is the language you think in, naturally. Whether it’s English, Spanish, Japanese, or even Latin, its fluency is etched into your every thought since birth. I always hear people asking, “why is learning a language so hard?”. Well, your answer, my friend, is thought. I once heard someone say that to embrace a culture, you must first emerse yourself in it. I agree, to a point. Even if you completely surround yourself in a certain culture and language, you may think like them, but you’ll most likely never think like them. Your native tongue and way of life will always be part of you – it’s just how humans live. Some claim we’re very adaptive beings, while others say otherwise, that humans instinctually ‘hate change’. I think it depends. I’ve watched a Christian woman convert into Paganism, and then years later, completely yield to Christianity once more. While on the other hand, I’ve also witnessed a Christian man turn to Paganism, and never go back. People always have a choice. While I don’t believe that ‘each man is created equal’ (socially/ politically speaking; especially in the world we live in now), I do believe that ‘each man is created individual’. We are all ourselves. Whether we choose to be influenced by society or to overlook its pretentious ‘fads’ is all up to the way we think.