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Hideous, yet highly intelligent and quasi-talented Brian Warner got married the other day to the incredibly tiny and pretty Evan Rachel Wood.  Good on him, he has entertained me a great deal over the years.  His autobiography, Long Hard Road Out of Hell, was hilarious, and the album Antichrist Superstar is still one of my very favorites.  I even had someone years ago tell me that the song title "The Angel with the Scabbed Wings" always made her think of me (she was only talking title, not song content).  But the truth is that he's kind of a schmuck, and that's why he is with a talented, interesting hottie.

I have had it up to here (I am waving my arms over my head like I was signalling for backup in the movie Team America: World Police — "Derka Derka!!") with women I find attractive and interesting telling me how fucking sweet I am.  "Oh!  You're one of the sweetest guys I've ever met!"  "You are such a sweetheart!"  "You are a really, really great guy!" 

If I'm so great, why is it that none of you are interested in being with me?  Time and again we get to hear women bemoan the lack of nice guys, and how all they want is a man who is considerate and intelligent and/or funny.  Yet all they want to do is go out with douche nozzles.

In case you're wondering, I went out tonight.  I met, and spent some time talking to, a beautiful young woman.  She looked like a short cross between Kristen Kruek from Smallville, and Morena Beccarin from Firefly.  She wasn't a big reader, but she was in to horror movies, and had tattoos of Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder version), Pee Wee Herman, and a Tyranosaurus Rex on her arm.  She really seemed to enjoy meeting me, and (again) told me how sweet I am.  But no interest. 

"You'll find someone out there.  There's someone just perfect for you out there."

I know.  I've met her.  She shares my religious beliefs, my politics, my humor, my taste in music, my fondness for asia food, my love of the works of Rowan Atkinson and Eddie Izzard.  She reads more than anyone else I know but myself.  She has a great smile, a razor sharp wit, and keen fashion sense.  She's intelligent and very good at her job without being pompous.  She's honest and reliable, she's interesting, and she's one of the sexiest and most beautiful women I've ever seen, in or out of showbiz.

She's also divorcing me, because she couldn't love me "enough for both of us."  Of course being abandoned because my self-loathing is too great really does wonders for my depression and self-image.

Jesus Fuck, I'm irritated right now.

1 Comment
  1. tick_tock 11 years ago

     I can hear that.  Happy birthday Jefficus.  You have brought a special friendship to my life, and I like you a great deal.  Today should be the day.  I read more Under the Dome last night.  It is getting back to the Stephen King I fell in love with years ago.  I am looking forward the hearing him tell this story.  

    0 kudos

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