Whether you be God or the wind or the sky, I don't care. I just need you to listen to me right now. I don't ask for a lot, and I try to give as much as I possibly can. But, right now, I need you to listen to me, because I need help. I need help. I've asked you to support those around me, even when it regards things that don't exactly fit my idea of perfection, because that is sometimes what is best. I don't commonly ask for help because I need in my heart for you to help others. The ones in my life that I know need the guidance most, give it to them is what I always ask of you. I don't want to be selfish, but right now, I need you to help me. I feel weak, and I don't want to fall. Emotionally I'm all over the place, and I just need some help supporting the people in my life. I say this publicly because I just need to have people know. I've had enough of not talking about it. I put me to the side all of the time, and I don't ever regret doing that. I don't care if I don't reap benefits from it, and quite frankly I usually don't. But, I don't say much about that even though inside it makes me want to flip out. But I need to say this.

Forgive me if I start breaking down and punching walls. I know I won't really punch walls, but seriously, you must realize how much I have to deal with in my life. I find purpose in caring for others, and sometimes I just need to flip out because when you get nothing but pain and anger and heartache and sadness and madness from it, you just need to yell and scream because being good has a lot of negative effects! Then I need to deal with OCD, which is no simple task. I feel like my brain is going to explode, and I feel like my heart is going to explode from so much of what I take on. But, I can't just not do it. It gives me purpose, I feel content when people have me, when I can help them. Even if it means pain. I know it sounds strange, but I need that pain because I don't want those in my life to hurt. I just need help right now, because it's starting to become very…I don't know. I just need some support. I need help with my emotions, I need help with me. The right things aren't always easy, and I'm doing a lot of right things lately. Help me out here, just give me guidance. At least listen to me when I need someone.


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