My husband doesn't understand what it's like to be introverted. Privacy is my security blanket. He's been blurting out the fact of my pregnancy to every Tom, Dick, and asshole he knows and I hate it. That's MY body and MY life you're discussing with people before I'm even comfortable enough to bring it up to my boss. It makes me furious–enought to physically lash out. I hate it when I hate so hard that I just want to hurt the source of my upset.
So today I am 11 weeks and…2 days? Something like that. I have another Dr's appointment in a week and a half, but I told DH that I'd tell my boss today, if he'd just keep his big fucking mouth shut until after my appointment.
He doesn't get it. He wallows in attentionlike a greedy pig. He wants more people to slap him on the back and congratulate him, but I hate that kind of attention. My body, my baby, my business.
I mean, I'm not opposed to people asking simple questions like, "How are you feeling?" or "How far along?" or "Do you know what you're having yet?" or "Have you thought up names yet?"but too many people get waaay too personal in their questioning, ("Are you going to breastfeed?" Me: that's between me and my breasts.) and belly touching and unsolicited advise,that I want no part of it. I need to be comfortable enough in my pregnancy to be able to cope with all the nonsense that comes with social interaction, and he's not letting me achieve this in my own time.
I just don't want to go around telling everyone, only to have to explain my miscarriage a week later. I feel as though I'm jinxing myself by telling a whole whopping 5 days too early. I know it's stupid, but it's still how I feel. I'm afraid of finding out at that next appointment that the baby's heart isn't even beating anymore or something.
Well, I guess if I tell my boss not to pass it on, he's the only person, outside of my family, that I'd have to explain it to. It's just so awkward. I've been here since 2013 and I barely know the guy enough to feel comfortable with this conversation.
It really sucks to work for someone as introverted as I am. Haha!