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So I just had a panic attack on the way to school and my mom completely freaked out at me. She told me that she thinks that I make it worse on purpose, so that I don’t have to got to school and that I do it to myself. She just yells at me. She said its ridiculous. She said “Life sucks. Life is f***ing terrible. Its awful but you know what? You have to get up everyday and deal with it anyway. You have to get up like the rest if us. Suck it up and move on.” But in the worst way. Although she’s the one that isn’t pushing to get an appointment. I haven’t been to the doctor for it properly yet. She said to my sister that she was gonna send me away because my crazy grandma “wouldn’t put up with this ‘anxiety bull****.” I feel completely awful.. and I have depression. It was better. Please help. I feel like my mom would just be so much happier if I wasn’t here, stressing her out. She said that her kids are old enough to take care if themselves.. I’m 15. and that she needs to worry about herself. She wants to be around long enough to spend more time with her grandkids. She never wants to spend time with just me. I genuinely feel like there isn’t a single person who would care if I died right now. I know it seems like she’s a bad mom but she wasn’t like this before. I feel like relapsing into cutting and I think the inky thing stopping me is, I know it sounds stupid, but my laziness and the fast that I don’t have a razor. My head hurts so bad.

2 Comments
  1. dorkydoo 3 years ago

    Hello dear. I understand your stress completely. I myself deal with the same sort of thing with my mother.
    You just have to keep your head high for a few more years.
    Stay strong, you have people that love you I’m sure of it.
    And I’m sure if she lost you. Your family would suffer more.
    So please stay strong dear.
    And keep your head up.
    Things will get better.

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  2. madelinemouse 3 years ago

    Hi,
    I’ve gotten similar stuff from my parents before. But as one of my friends pointed out, you don’t just tell someone with a stab wound to suck it up and it’ll go away, and the same logic should apply to mental illnesses. Hang in there.

    I know it’s cliche to say that it gets better but it does. For every low, there’s a high. Stay strong and keep fighting.

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