So I just had a panic attack on the way to school and my mom completely freaked out at me. She told me that she thinks that I make it worse on purpose, so that I don’t have to got to school and that I do it to myself. She just yells at me. She said its ridiculous. She said “Life sucks. Life is f***ing terrible. Its awful but you know what? You have to get up everyday and deal with it anyway. You have to get up like the rest if us. Suck it up and move on.” But in the worst way. Although she’s the one that isn’t pushing to get an appointment. I haven’t been to the doctor for it properly yet. She said to my sister that she was gonna send me away because my crazy grandma “wouldn’t put up with this ‘anxiety bull****.” I feel completely awful.. and I have depression. It was better. Please help. I feel like my mom would just be so much happier if I wasn’t here, stressing her out. She said that her kids are old enough to take care if themselves.. I’m 15. and that she needs to worry about herself. She wants to be around long enough to spend more time with her grandkids. She never wants to spend time with just me. I genuinely feel like there isn’t a single person who would care if I died right now. I know it seems like she’s a bad mom but she wasn’t like this before. I feel like relapsing into cutting and I think the inky thing stopping me is, I know it sounds stupid, but my laziness and the fast that I don’t have a razor. My head hurts so bad.