So I went on a yahoo support site for pure OCD and posted this:I have had ocd since I was about six years of age! It has run the gammit fromchecking, counting, you name it, but what I really struggle with is I guess whatpeople call pure o. I struggle with intrusive thoughts and I can't shake my mostrecent one.I was seeing a woman for twenty two months, and about three or four months intodating she broke up with me. This let to a second suicide attempt (firsthappened two years previous after wife left me). My girlfriend eventuallyresumed seeing me for the next year and a half.She ended things for good seven weeks ago. So almost two weeks ago out ofnowhere I got this intrusive thought that she is home in her recro on her kneesobsessively worrying that I might kill myself! The image and idea of thisdisturbs me greatly! I know it's ocd, but my disorder at times has me prettymuch convinced that its true!I can't contact her because it would only feed my ocd! What can I do about this?Dr. Jon Hershfield who specializes in OCD replied with this:I think a reasonable approach would be to start by acknowledging that youdon't know what she's going through at all. This includes the possibilitythat she is very worried about you and may be suffering as a result. Butalso includes the possibility that she is doing the dishes and strugglingto remove some dried peanut butter from a plate. I would look at any ofyour mental attempts to get certainty about what she is experiencing as acompulsion. If the obsessive thoughts persist or are really interferingwith your functioning, then I'd suggest pulling out the big guns and doingsome scripting about how horrible her life is spent dwelling on yourcondition.So the mere fact that he said to consider the fact that she may be worrying about me and suffering because of it has majorly triggered me and is bringing me back to where I was last weekend! I can't take anymore of this! I'm at work on a brake and I can't think straight or calm myself!
Triggered again!
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Thanks again Jane, these stupid triggers, I need to ignore them. I'm home from work now and in bed, hopefully I'll get some sleep. Have a good day!