I am new so I would like to give you guys some idea of who I am and how I came to be here..

Anyway I posted this yesterday as a comment to something on accident OOPS!!   Anyway I have been going through daily cycles of anxiety and fear and I know that they are biological cycles and I don't attribute them to anything other than sheer body functions.  Whether I have anything to feel crappy about or not they typically happen around the same time every day until I get them under control.  It's like a mini-panick attack but it's a cyclical nervous system response that happens because the body is pre-preparing for a strssful situation.  This might happen if just out of no where I feel like throwing something or I get angry for no reason.  I have to watch my body signals because they are happening a lot lately (5 or 6 times a day). I don't always catch them. (I don't know if anyone deals with that too) I know there are two situations that I am gearing up for and one is a daily occurance.  The other is a legal situation that has come up and it may be nothing but me beinng who I am, I created the worst case scinario and I totally blew it out of proportion for a couple of days.  Talking to witnesses and my lawyer didn't even help.  Any way the other situation is the individual I currently live with and he's become a rather big jerk lately.  He suffers from bipolar and has essentially stopped treatment and I am going to have to ask him to go back to treatment or leave.  Being who I am and him being who he is will not work if he can't stay in therapy.  Any way I am also unemployed right now and I am sure I will share that little ditty later on because I still deal with the crappy things the girl I worked with did.  However just wanted to get some feed back from falling off the horse and wanting so desperately to get beck on.  I went for 2 years and stopped feeling this tightening in my chest and shoulders, I stopped waking up at 3:00AM evey morning. I all but never had panick attacks and stopped having these daily spurts of natural addrenalin that are completely unnecessary, I just wish my body would knock it off. In order for it to turn it off I have to control my thoughts. LOL

 I am still strong but realize I have to get back my control by meditating, eating right (yeah right) and exercising (all of which helped me a bunch).  I was also accomplishing a great deal because I was in a great group and able to do the work every week.  I do still exercise but it is inconsistent and when I eat badly I am often too tired to work out…Yup makes me feel worse.  My goals for the next month are to loose 8 lbs and stick to my healthy diet, to keep looking for a job and not freak out if I actually get one and I want to wake up tomorrow and feel thankful to be alive and feeling good..it will be day one that I will go the whole day without yelling…whish me luck!!!