How long is this shit going to take, seriously a year?…  It makes me feel crazy.  But I know I am not.

I get so pissed off…  Boo helps to change those feelings.  The ice pack thing is nt helping so much anymore…

Eariler today I wanted to call Derick…  Because I felt bad for him and I miss being his friend.  Then I couldn't get the picture out of my head, and that went to another picture, and then I got pissed off, then I got anxious…  And I've been showering twice a day.  UGH make it stop, Luda said it'll take about a year.  That's a long time!..

I guess cring is a good thing.  I haven't done that in IDK how long, years…  I think I  started to last week a little bit, but I didn't give into it.  And I don't even know why I am cring now, because I am angry.  You don't cry when your angry…  You cry when your sad.  But I don't feel sad.  Just angry and alone.  But I know I'm not alone…  UGH this is flusterating…

And I guess I can say I am having a bad night…  But I guess eairly today was fun!  Heh and Jayden called me.  🙂  And my mom asked if Cirena and I wanted to go out to dinner with her and to the casnio.  And Boo and I are going to Issacs birthday party next weekend, so we get to pick out a cool gift to get him.  🙂  And UGH I guess I feel a little bit better…  Stupid thoughts, stupid feelings, stupid emotions…