Hi everyone it is Tuesday, May 6th,2008 I have not written a blog for a long time. I feel it is time that I wrote one now. Let's go back to when it all started on Saturday night/Sunday morning. It all started when my dad came out into the living room and said he was having a heart attack. He told the symptoms to my mom and she said he was having a panic attack, but my dad did not believe her. So he went into the bathroom changed and left and said to my mom, you don't care about me. So he went as far a a little gas station and called my mom and said he could not drive anymore, my mom said fine I will drive you to the hospital and she told her not to call an ambulance. So what did he do, he called an ambulance. When my mom arrived the ambulance arrived also. The paramedics asked him why he called 911 and he said a fancy name that boils down to a heart murmur. So the paramedics checked him out and said he was not having a heart attack. My dad still did not believe them so he had them take him to the hospital. The hospital ran tests and said they could find no signs of a heart attack. My dad was still not convinsed. So he spent the night at the hospital. My mom called me to tell me to get ready becuase we had to get his car so it would not be towed. We arrived at the gas station and my mom tried to get his stick shift car into reverse so here we were at 2:30 in the morning and could not get his car to go backwards. So we wound up pushing his car out of the parking spot and it was a hard thing to do because it was on a little hill. We finally got it going and went home. The next day, Sunday May 4th, we went to pick him up at the hospital at about 6 pm. I thought I would go into the hospital with my mom and brother to get my dad and that turned out to be a big mistake. It caused me to have a major OCD attack and we were a ways from hom so I could not take one of my medicines to help. I finally got over my OCD attack when I was able to take my medication. That was our weekend. He went to the hospital just for a panic attack, my mom even told him that is what he was having.

 Now today, May 6th. we went to a lawyers office to begin what would probably end up in divorce. This has been coming for a long time though. The lawyer said he would not start the process until we had some more time to think it over. This is a very stressfull thing to go through. I don't know how it is going to end up, but I hope we will be happier at the end because my dad is mean to us and he has had affairs. So he is not the best dad to have. This is all just very stressfull esspecialy when you have OCD.

It may seem wierd but, I was kind of looking forward to going to see this lawyer and to hear what he had to say, but he said we could not come in. This was just an informational meeting. The worst thing about this is that I paid for this meeting and I was not allowed to go in. It seems that a lot of times things that I have been looking forward like some people coming over to our house for dinner or something either get cancelled or it changes. So I guess I should just stop looking forward to things because it will probably get broken.

 So if you have any advice,kind thought or any good comments that would help me out, I would love to hear them so I can get the strength I need.

 Thanks for reading.


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