I feel like I'm stuck, and unable to move in a lot of aspects of life rignt now. Normally I don't like change, but it's like anything I try to do, now doesn't work.

Firstly is my student loans. The company still refuses to accept paperwork, or any money that I can afford. They will only accept the full amount, evne though they have a copy of my tax information (paperwork they've received via an approved fax; they've taken the address chage off it to mail me a letter telling me they did 'not' get the fax) and know damn well I don't have the money. I have no money to give them, and have followed every avenue to get into some sort of payment plan. All I get is ignored. All I want to do is send them what money I can when I've got it (which is more than if they'd put me on an income based payment plan; as I earn less than the poverty line the plan would have put me at $0 a month). They even refuse to give me a mailing address to send payments to.

Second is work. I feel very stuck at the office I work at currently. There is no up. And like all newspapers, it's going down like the titanic. I actually get to see the official count of how many papers total get printed a day (minimum, some extras are printed just in case). From when I started until now, there's been a significant drop. If that same amount of a drop happend from now until, whenever, then this paper will not be in business any longer.

Part of that is also the jobs I've been applying to. I've applied for several since I started working here, and every time nothing's come of it. I was so excited when the HR of a good sized company contacted me ahead of time that a job would be opening up, did I get my hopes up. The lady was very helpful, and when I saw the actual job description, I could see why she'd pulled me out of the old pile of resumes (as I'd applied for a different one earlier). This job is exactly what my education is for, and on top of that, a good chunk of work experience is they required I actually have!! I even had an interview with HR. But now I'm stuck waiting. They'd stated they need more applicants before they can move to the next stage of interviews. After about a week (maybe week and a half?) I emailed back as a follow up, but was told I'd be contacted the next week. Well, that's this week and it's already Wednessday. I's raelly starting to get to me that I might not be able to get out of my current job at all. It's this sinking feeling of… well, no hope, really.

The next problem I have is what I'd mentioned in my previous blog, and that's about my spare time. I spend it in both playing WoW and Role Playing online (mostly forums). At the moment I'm feeling very stagnant. Even my artwork is stagnant. I feel as if I could tell myself: "Ok self, lets set aside little pockets of time for the RPs and the art. Pick one day a week for each RP, and then any leftover day for art. The later half of each evening can be for WoW (as it always is). But things in WoW are getting a little too overwhelming. I've offered to participate in a team effort, but this team keeps taking up more and more days of the week (used to be two evenings a week and it's now up to over four evenings). I really don't want to leave the group, as I I really like the people and want to spend time with them. If I leave, then they'll be busy most of the week (if not all week) and won't have time outside of that stuff to play with others (which is the issue I'd have if my 'others' hadn't left game before this group got so day-hog).

Truth be told, I don't know if that whole "Pick a day for each RP" think will work. Which is why I'm relucant to try it. I suppose it's not like I'll get any worse if I do try, but… I'd like to expend my energies towards something that -will- succeed instead of something that -might-.


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