My mother comes over to the house today and as usual gives me a panic attack five minutes after she comes in the door. Your sister has MRSA infection, your grandfather is probably dying, I don't know how much more I can work, when are you going to be able to start paying for things, we are all going to be in trouble if your grandfather dies because he pays for everything. I hate HATE HATE being dependent upon her for anything, I know I should be gratefull that she lets me live in this crappy house rent free and she pays all the utilites but there are so many strings. The house is full of her crap and I can't move anything or change anything, the roof leaks, the bathroom is full of mold, there is no insulation so it is roasting in the summer and freezing in the winter. Yet they buy my sister another house with a garage and brand new fence and two bathrooms. They bought her a trailer with her first marriage and another house with her second, she left the house she had with her second husband and rented it out and said it was too far from town. So they buy her another one! She has a full time job with benefits and I have two part time minimum wage jobs. I have nothing from my divorce because I was an idiot and lost my children as well.

Sorry I know this sounds like so much bitching and my new husband says that it won't change anything but it is so hard sometimes to keep going. The only person in my family that loved me was my grandmother and when she died that was it. My mother has always treated me like everything I did and said was wrong. What did you do to yourself now, why did you do something so stupid, how did you make yourself sick, etc. etc. Everything always my fault. Big surprise me ex was able to mess with my head so bad.

Thanks for letting me vent it helps so much.

  1. sadviolinist 11 years ago

    I'm sorry to hear that you're mother is so negative and not understanding about your illness.  You're not an idiot at all.  I don't know what happened in your first marriage but it doesn't sound like it was a good situation at all.  Do you at least get to see your kids? I just want to say I understand what you're going through to an extent as my husband and I and my son live with my mother because we can't make it financially on our own.  I can't work more than a day or two a week and it's so frustrating having to depend on my Mom to make ends meet.  It's okay to vent, sometimes it really helps. I'll be sending positive thoughts your way!  Stay strong and don't feel wrong for anything that's happened.  Sounds like your mom is just stressed and taking it out on you.  I agree with Heather that the situation seems pretty unfair.  ((HUGS))

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  2. smurfette 11 years ago

     its very good to have two part time jobs when you have a disability, im lucky i have my job as well. favoritsm is rough, im sure your mom is a worry wart. my dad is like that, good luck to ya.!


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  3. DiscoQueen 11 years ago

    Thanks to everybody for reading and understanding how I feel. I hope that things are going better for all of you this week. My grandfather gave me the money for my kids to fly here so I get to see my son for 3 whole weeks in June and my daughter for 2 weeks. She didn't want to spend more time than than with me..sigh. I know my ex and his family and his new wife are probably filling my kids heads with all kinds of crap. Which I don't really understand, I was a daughter to my ex-inlaws for 12 years and a loving supportive wife to my ex for 12 years. He cheated and lied and because I fell apart and tried to kill myself from having my soul ripped out I am the one who has no money and no children? They got rid of me, they got all the money and my children why still talk shit about me? I really don't get it.

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