Today was really good. Lots of laughs, we watched the superbowl, we had messy food, etc.

Loved it.

But my parents left now.. Oh God, how I wished they didn't leave..

My sister and I started arguing today, my mom found out, and she told my dad.

Here's the situation:

We went to the mall because our dad got us gift cards to victoria secret, haha. Anyway, we got some stuff and we were leaving. But my sister has been appyling for a job there, so she used that time to ask about her application.

Now, I know this sounds like something I shouldn't be mad about. But I was, for a particular reason.

Reason being that the store is at the mall, where my sister's "thing" works. STRIKE ONE. One time when she went out for "job applications" she came back with lingerie. Wonder why.. STRIKE TWO. Keep in mind, I don't care about her sex life, but she did almost end up pregnant and infected with multiple STDs. Later on, I found a Cirilla's bag in the trash, lube by her bedside, and I've caught her f*cking the dude two nights in a row, one of which being the day we got back, last Sunday. STRIKE THREE. She has proved that there's only one thing on her mind. Hmm.. Wonder what..?

But of course I didn't tell my parents all that when they asked why I cared so much about her asking about the application.

My dad said she's just desperate to get a job……………….. If you're desperate to get a job, you're not going to focus on just one job, especially when it's not conviently located and there's a hundred jobs 5 minutes away that pay just as much.

I got so pissed at her because she's literally sex/boy-crazed right now. I know it sounds juvenile, but I'm serious. She is.

But whatever. My parents said we have to learn to be patient with each other and they told me that I can't always have my way.

When the hell did Ihave ANYTHING my way?!

Long story short, kind of, they're gone, and I'm pretty sure that idiot guy will be here soon.

Meaning my life goes back to shit because I can't speak up enough to tell my parents anything..

Gosh how I want to..

And I feel so bad because everyone here has been saying how proud they were of me and how I was finally speaking up. Then I just blow it all.

I'm sorry if I seem like a hopeless case..

I can just feel the anxiety creeping back up on me..

Last night was the first night in a while that I've been able to sleep without shutting my door completely, turning my music up high, and drown myself in pills just to sleep. In fact, I kept my door open, had no music on, and took no pills. All because my parents were there to keep eveything under control.

Now what..?


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