My boyfriend and I can't seem to go a week without arguing. It's exhausting.
Today I felt good but by night, my boyfriend had begun getting on my nerves. During the move, his Mom bought them lunch – gigantic subs. I didn't get anything because I was working. He had half left over and when I asked for a bite, he made this genuine but dramatically sad face. He started whining about how hungry he was so I let it drop but made a mental note to not share when I cook dinner for myself. It just seemed incredibly childish of him.
So then I go gather supplies for my own dinner and as we're moving things around, he is quiet. As I'm cracking jokes and laughing, he's barely responding. This wears on me. I keep asking what's wrong and he says nothing but eventually says his finger hurts because of a hangnail that apparently got ripped off. So we continue on and I'm upbeat but he's just moody as all hell. Any time I ask what's wrong, he says his finger. And I'm like babe…it's a fingernail…it's not worth getting moody over…
This continues until eventually the dog accidentally runs over his foot and he overreacts. This just finishes it for me. We end up in an argument because his mood is clearly off even though he won't say so. He blames it on me saying it was my "constant poking" that put him in the bad mood in the first place. At that point, I said, "Fine, I won't poke anymore, for that matter I won't speak to you at all" and left.
Later I decided I didn't want to sleep in bed with him, didn't want to go in our room at all, so I gathered my stuff and went to the living room. He asked what I was doing, I said going somewhere I feel more relaxed. He said, "This isn't my fault" and came out to confront me so I flipped him off and that was that.
I wish I didn't care when he was in moods like these so that I could just ignore him but as he mopes around, so do I. So it starts to make me mad when I'm finally happy but he wrecks it. I sometimes question how healthy of a relationship this is for a person who is struggling to cope with anxiety and depression…
Sounds like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
If you continue what you're doing, you'll continue to argue because you're "nagging" (no I don't consider what you do nagging). But if you don't ask what's wrong, he could get mad because it seems like you don't care.. (my parents went through this)
What seemed to help them and some of my other friends is to talk about it when things are good between you two.. Ask if he would rather you leaving him alone, thus being ok with you being happy just because you're happy, or acting on his moods, thus you baby him until he tells you.. (here I am saying this like you haven't already tried your own methods. haha)
Good Luck with your boyfriend and I hope your relationship improves a little to help you with your anxiety and depression.