am i a bad person

i realize i have issues i do need to deal with but its minor like stop sucking my thumb, stop careing what other people think, stop beng stubborn, learn to control my sensativity, know that when people yell at me take it lightly. try not to fit in be out side the box.

i hate my life cause i want to be free i would like to talk to my parents and siblings and tell them how sad i am and how i want to be happy and enjoy life like a regualr person but i cant cause the way they will judge me ill just give up. i been debaing on a tattoo to express myself i wanted a dog paw on my leg cause i love animals or a cross of jesus cause im religious and a heart that has a thorn on it to show that god died for m and shed his blood for my sins and because i have bad blood cells as well then there is this heart thats broken and it looks like it was stitched back togeter and a tear of blood is at the end of the heart and it has head phones its called te audio heart for people who love music but i thouht of the heart as me loving myself and the headphones blocking all the drama out my life becasue when i listen to music i do feel good about myself.


and the rip in the heart is the pain i been through i decided to make one side red for the pain the middle head piece purple for royalty to represent god and the other part blue for peace so that when  looked at the tattoo i wouls remember that i was hurt and down but if i follwed jesus and all the positive beautiful people in my life i will fine peace in myself.

or get a rose with i love oyu on it to rememind myself that even though i fell like people hate me and they dont i love myself.but when i asked my friend Q  he said the tatoo is ink but of course and it snks in your skin and becasue i already have bad blood i will die from it so to make this story short im not getting it.



so i guess i really dont want to die i feel like god has something planned for me for my future and he is just waiting on me to figure out who i am bfore he gives t to me he knows i will get what ever it is accomplished but he wants me to be happy in the process.

Thanks for listening and have a blessed day.


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