So…I was going to post this earlier Wednesday, But I was out all day and didn't get back until late, and I just passed out for awhile from like all of the stress…
So, Wednesday we went to my take my Grandmother out to eat, My Aunt and Uncle were also there. Already by the time we had gotten there I was on edge because earlier my mom and Brother has been making jokes about me…again
So anyway, we went to a Habachi buffet, much to my distress. Plus the freaking place was so crowded, I had to flee to the bathroom multiple times while we were there and somehow I got away with not eating again…
At times i'm shocked at how blind my family is to what's going on with me, it's either they really don't see it, or they just don't give a shit if I drive myself to my early grave…
So, we had to spend even more time at the restaurant because my dad got off of work early so mom told him to come and meet us- Ugh.
the we we took her back to her home, I was stuck there for another two hours while they all talked and I just sat there awkwardly, My shoulders were SO tense I thought they'd pop off, Again I had to rush to the bathroom just to try
and calm down the massive panic attack forming. After we all parted and made our way home, I was dragged to the grocery store again so we could pick up last minutes things for Thanksgiving,
Long-story-short, It didn't go well.
Now, Today I have to get up at 7am and start helping mom get stuff ready for Marie's…Still freaking out over that…
More people are going to be there then I thought would, I'm happy about seeing the doggies there but…My anxiety keeps on rising. Because all these thoughts keep running through my head.
They don't like me, I'm a burden, A freak, They probably just pity me'
and so on and so on…I hope today goes well but I highly doubt it…Well if I get time during the day at Marie's i'll try to post an entry I guess..
I hope everyone else in the tribe is having a good day…
and also, Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Hope you have a good day, You all deserve it.
'see' you later…
