I’m supposed to be taking the GRE’s soon. I took a practice one..and did terrible. I got 11 math questions right out of 30…I was so upset by that. I try studying but I get so overwhelemed and I feel so stupid when I look at some of the stuff…My boyfriend has his Master’s Degree in Physics and I was telling him abuot how upset I am. We started talking about stuff and I was telling him my downfalls in math. I told him I can’t add or multiply fractions…he thought I was joking. He made a smart comment and it really hurt my feelings. He quickly realized I was joking any more and started telling me how smart I am and how I just don’t need to know those things anyway because it’s not part of my major. I still felt really stupid and embarassed. I almost started crying…Later that night I told him I think I’m depressed (think being a little loose of a term). He didn’t understand why. He says I worry about things I don’t need to. Which is completley true. He didn’t want to talk about it at all though…He even got off the phone. Then for some reason last night I had a dream about the guy who raped me. It’s been a few years since the rape. I really don’t think about it that much any more..It was just so weird because I woke up in my dream with him next to me in bed. My heart started racing and I was so afraid. Apparently in my dream I was dating him though. I felt so dirty when I woke up. I don’t know why I would dream such a thing…It’s rather disturbing. Maybe I just can’t let it go….Every time I really feel like I’m totally over it something like this happens
Weird
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The story of how I got to the messed up state I am in
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Well, this being my first blog/journal I figured I might as well go on and explain why I am...
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Another year
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IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!! WOOT! I am SO glad that year is over. This year will be great. It has...
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Auguries of Innocence–William Blake
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To see a world in a grain of sand And a heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in...
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The bubbles popped
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The bubbles popped, All hell breaks loose, You get the rope, I’ll tie the noose, Plz someone Get the...
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Dear diary
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i have lost interest in food. i dont want to be here any more. iv had enough i just...
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My story.
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Alright. Lets do this. Hi, I’m Ryleigh/Tobias. I know who names their child that. Well my parents just named...
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Really really angry (Warning: read at your own risk).
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This blog has some explicit language and topics in it which may be upsetting to some people, Please do...
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The Clock
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There’s a clock in the bathroom. It’s still running, but it is not functioning. What I mean is...


Yeah..I do have PTSD..It sucks. My boyfriend is so supportive..It’s just so hard for me to talk about it. Sometimes I feel like I’m annoying him or he’s tired of listening to it…I think it may all be in my head…I dunno..It’s a hard subject to bring up anyway