So it’s been a year…..365 days I have been without you.  It is crazy to think its been that long.  It feels like yesterday you were anxious, stressed, weakened and sick.  Thankfully you are not in pain anymore…it just hurts so much.  So I hear the first year after someone’s death is the hardest to deal with.  Everyday is hard, what the hell are people saying? There isn’t one day I do not think of you or remember back to the days of our long talks and laughter. Before I go to bed tonight, I will have a moment of silence for you and will light some incense.  Everday while I’m at work all I can think of is you and your slowly disabiling body losing energy and independence.  The clients I work with get frustrated and angry that they cannot be on their own anymore.  It saddens me, I just think back to when it happened to you and it suddenly triggers me to speak the words of truth that "I have seen how someone can lose their independence and pride."  I love you so much and want you to know that death cannot tear us apart.  It tears my heart apart but always leaves me thankful for the wonderful, inspirational and loving aunt you have been to me my whole life.  Sometimes I beat myself up because I feel since I wasn’t your daughter or sister that my feelings need to be justified.  My year of grief counseling has taught me to not be ashamed of my emotions and feelings toward your passing but to learn from the experiences and remember everyday the love I have for you, and you have for me.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  I love you, Aunt Birdie.

 Always and Forever,

   Your loving niece

"As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you have created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on-in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here."

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."

   – Tuesday’s With Morrie

 

 RIP Aunt Birdie <3

6/10/59 – 8/22/07

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