I am sitting here trying to wrap my mind around everything. Most day i just go through the motions, but I can’t help but wonder what am I doing. First things first, I question my relationship is all of this normal. I mean someone who tells you they expect things from you. Someone who is angry because I didn’t spend enough time with them. Someone who has an excuse for everything they do or make you feel like you were wrong.  I feel like I’m constantly judged for everything I do. I feel like I’m not good enough. That my kids aren’t good enough. I feel like she can’t share me with them. She wants to have time with just me, and the rude comments she makes when she doesn’t get her way. I also wonder about the fact that when she gets angry or whatever other reason she can come up with she will pick up a beer. She drank at 8:30 in the morning on christmas because my son had made her angry. I cant seem to fathom who or how someone can do that. The fact that she doesnt notice how much her drinking is apart of her life and that is her crutch. The fact that I have cut everyone off from my life for this person, either by my choice or hers. The fact that she is threaned by my ex, but I’m supposed be fine with hers. To the point he would come over for holidays. I sit and wonder is this just all me causing all the problems and I need help. Or is it both of us or does she cause the problems and I try to be perfect. I just can’t figure it out anymore. I feel like I’m in a very unhealthy relationship, but is that me just thinking it or is it true. So back to the original statement. What am I doing?


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