I have this habit of getting really sunny after a storm. I would be so crushed and depressed that the way to cope is to jump up and down, sing, and do other crazy things I would never do. My usual self is a calm and lady like existance. So if I am seen happy and really excited, its just a sign that shit just happened or will happen. I knew a guy that crushed my heart and I am so happy I moved away so I would never have to see him again, but I miss him. At school, I have to be kind to those I don't like and those who dislike me. I hate playing dumb but what can I do? Being a girl, I could be accepted one day and shunned the next. All I can do now is be as kind as possible and maybe I'll be just like Cinderella, finding my happiness one day. I miss my friends, but I am in a better home and family now. I feel like the most blessed and unfortunate person in the world. My birthday is coming up, but I don't want to tell anyone or celebrate it. My birthday has always been the worst day of my life. The day of my existance, the day that mark another year I'm stil alive, the day that I know I have more tragedies to look forward to. It hurts that I gave presents for Christmas to my "friends" but I only got sympathy gifts from people I barely know. People I don't remember the names of thought of me. I don't know to be happy that someone remembers me, or be sad that the people I wanted to remember me didn't. I have been the new girl for the 4rth time. Maybe I'll be able to look forward to Junior and Senior year at this school. Better go study, I wan't to graduate fast :). Good night everyone. I'm glad I could express my frustrations online at least.

  1. Andie372 10 years ago

    You've been through a lot having to move and readjust yourself that many times. Quite often a move can trigger depression. I know it did for me some years back. Sounds like you could use someone to talk to. I hope you make some new friends that you can trust. Feel free to post here

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  2. mochi 10 years ago

     Thank you very much Andie372 🙂 just been missing some good people in my life, but I'm feeling better. Thanks again. 

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