long story short, i relapsed after staying for a few months and istarted to giveup on mysef and look for exuces to use basically i started acting like an addict again. & i ended up making a pretty decision by running away

i learned that nothing good will ever come out of using

considering i had to stay in jdc and a group home for amonth again aftyer getting picked up

no matter how far youve gotten in your recovery and how hard youve worked as soon as you use you go right back to where you left off

there are 2 different people inside me

the addict & someone who wants to do right and stop causing her family pain

my parents are really the only people wholl be there for me in the end not my so called friends &they arent really my friends if there giving me drugs

drugs change who you are and at somepoint down the road they will get out of hand it doesnt matter who you are

no matter how much i use i cant get rid of my problems ther always going to be there and there only going to get worse until i face them & i can only face them sober

maybe its ok to be a loner sometimes espeacially if i dont have anyone positive to be around, i can just take this time out to figure out who i really am and how i can face my problems that ive been trying to avoid

and finally that addiction is my disease & i cant blame anyone for the decisions i have made in my past i got myself here noone else and im the only person that can get myself better

this is a battle that im going to have fight everyday for the rest of my life