So I started buspirone May 6th. Tonight will be four full days. I started on a micro dose of 2.5 mg for three days. Last night and today it’s bumped to 5 mg twice daily for three weeks then we shall see. Honestly it does lessen the severity of attacks. I had ended up in the hospital and on a holter monitor for two weeks. My anxiety has me crashing. It’s made me a slave again to Ativan and other things to numb me through the worse and I feel like a fucking waste having to take anything. My only hope is as buspirone is vamping up, I can slowly start going down on my Ativan dosage again and get this poison out of my body. So four days in, and today I had a bit of breakthroughs anxiety. This too is my sons anniversary of his death. May 8th. And Mother’s Day. They year he died it was Mother’s Day May 08th and so both days creep up on me and every second of his death plays over and over and over. I also have dreams like no other. I hope you all are staying safe. And anyone who needs to reach out can. I’m on messenger too. Cari J Bennett Dukes. I’m always checking in. Stay safe.