I am 52 years old. I have been in two long term relationships that were really loving. Now I have been alone for 10 years. I am still friends with my ex and everyone keeps telling me I am a nice person. When I tell people that I work with that my life sucks and I only spend my weekends alone and depressed no one believes me. They all say things like "I am sure someone like you has a lot of friends and you do all kinds of things". But I don't. I can sit home all the time and no one calls me and I have stopped calling other people because I have come to realize that they do have a life and I am not part of it. Sometimes on Saturdays I take sleeping pills so I can just not be alive for one day and not have to think about think about it. To make matters worse last year I went to Thailand and I feel in love with someone in Bangkok. I went back to see her in February and we had the most wonderful 2 weeks of my life. I even gave her $500 for her birthday in May. I have never done anything like that for anyone in my entire life. Now I don't hear from her anymore. I try to talk to her but she says she is busy. She will send me e-mails once in a while and say that she misses me but I know that it is over. She deserves to be happy no matter what. It is just very depressing for me because I care about her so much and if she told me that she met someone I would be happy for her. I am supposed to be going back in a couple months and I am afraid to buy my plane ticket. I go on dating sites but no one ever expresses interest in me. It is all so depressing because I think I am a nice, honest, caring woman and no one cares about me. Just feeling sad. I will be ok. I have to be.
-
The Rain
Little Demon29457, , Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, Teens, Anxiety, Depression, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, 0
When I was younger there was one Fourth of July that stayed in my memories. It was raining and...
-
Hate who i am
thelovelysoul, , Depression, Anger, 4
today was graduation a day i post to be happy for making it but where have i made it...
-
The Pursuit Of Art
thebadkitty, , Depression, 0
I was thoroughly amused that a couple of people thought I was looking for participants in the kinky photo...
-
Our Plight
HopefulHanna, , Depression, Depression, Grief, Herbal Remedies, Questions, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, Therapist, 1
Hello, Iam fairly new to this site. I have only visited a few times, so I do not...
-
Story so far- tell me what you think- honestly
jeneva5, , Depression, Child, Grief, 0
She lies motionless; hoping the stillness of her body will deter the thoughts from taking over her already cloudy...
-
I’ve lost myself completely
Judas91, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Parenting, Relationships, 2
To whom this may concern: I’ve never done anything like this before so I’m hoping for at least decent...
-
I’m so crazy
ohlalaland5, , Anxiety, Depression, Depression, Weight Loss, 0
I need to delete all my old social media but my passwords are long gone from my brain, Its...
-
Back to Work
Crysdawn25, , Depression, Divorce, Relationships, 0
I went back to work today after the holiday and all is good at work. It is just now...