I keep having ups and downs lately of an extreme kind. Basically I'm fearful that the relationship I'm in is making my anxiety worse. The reason I feel so pathetic is because I'm over analysing everything & worrying about the non-existent things. So, my bf works a lot, 11 hours a day & I barely see him. When I don't see him all I have to gage our relationship on is text messages… we're both not good phone call kinda people, we've only been together for 4 months so its still feeling quite new to me baring in mind the last serious relationship I was in was over 3 years ago. I think I'm finding it really hard to adapt. We have a great time when we're together but when we're not & all we can do is text I start to get anxious about what I say & how he responds.(I know how petty this all sounds) he'd usually text me everyday & say goodnight at the end, but the past few days he's not been replying to me or saying good night… sounds stupid, but this kind of small thing plays on my mind. I wouldn't care so much if he wasn't posting so much on Facebook 'via mobile' when he's not texting me back – because then I know he's defo on his phone but consciously choosing not to text me. If this was someone else telling me this I'd have all the reasons for them – he's not thought about it, he's got distracted, don't worry it doesnt mean anything & maybe for a functioning person this would work, but I'm feeling broken. I went to work at silverstone, got badly mistreated by the company I worked for, who received heavy complaints from around 100+ workers, we all had a terrible experience & I think this has knocked me down drastically – & to make it worse the bf doesn't really believe what I went through…& jests with me that he thinks I'm making it up. All fair and good if he was joking with someone else, but my anxiety has been going mad ever since. It's crazy that because I don't hear from him I'm assuming he's got a problem with me, even tho I haven't done anything!? What is wrong with me 🙁 🙁 to top it off, I no longer have a doctor while I'm at home for uni, they messed up the system & have no record of me…. so even if I wanted to run to my doctor and get help I'd need to wait till I went back to uni in September. I'm trying to self help… but half of me is so unreasonable lol I have some questions I might post separately that I found in an anxiety book which help you evaluate your feelings – they helped but just made me feel stupid :/ I know I'm over reacting, but this is one thing I hate about anxiety disorders, you may be able to see what your feeling isnt right yet you can't stop it, it feels like someone is in your brain controlling it for u…. well that's how I feel anyway.

1 Comment
  1. cassangel69 8 years ago

    I am recently separated from my husband and really seriously relate to how you feel. If he didnt text me i was a mess, especially if I saw that he is texting others etc. I have decided to not have another relationship with anyone anytime soon because it does make my anxiety severe. \”do they love me?\” Wil they hurt me?\” \” Will they cheat on me?\” am I good enough for them? \” the list goes on. So hugs my dear and know you are not alone. I hope you feel better soon and have peace =) xoox <3 Cass

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