Sometimes we have things..opinions/feelings etc. that we are sad about, happy about or just dont know how to feel about them, but at the end of the day its is our desicion wheather or not to share these things with other people. And i cant speak for anyone else but if there is something going on with me and i decide to share it with someone, it is becuse i think i can trust this person and that they will not share my personal information with anyone else. Well newsflash- thats not always the case!!I just happend to look at my mas phone as im down visiting with her and she has been texting and ringing my friend and has been telling my ma things about me…. things that are not even fucking true. I feel so betrayed by them both.
This is my life and i know iv made mistakes but they are My mistakes and its my business.,I do not appreciate my ma going behind my back and talking to my friends about me. Especially the friend that she was speaking to is not exactly the most understanding, empathetic person to the life of an addict. She thinks.. ‘ well if you dont want to do it anymore and its fucking up your life, then just stop?
HAHAHAHAHA if it was that easy then there wouldnt be one single person on this earth with an addiction problem would there?
So instead she is just filling my ma’s head full of shit. I am trying really hard and have not touched any drugs in over a month now. When i was clean last time i never promised anyone i wouldnt do drugs again as thats a promise i know i cant make because unfortunatley i dont know what the future holds. If i did id be rich and famous!
And then I find out this disgusting piece of information…. how is that supposed to make me feel? Happy? well im fucking not.
Im disgusted at my ma for going behind my back and speaking to this person who is meant to be a friend but like i say if she wanted to talk to anyone i wish it could have been someone else.
Im so so so so so so dissappointed and upset.
If you are finding out who you can and can’t trust, great. That’s something to learn from. I know for certain that when I was out, I thought it was a big secret, all those dark places I was and doing things that brought shame. The thing I found is everyone knew what I was doing anyway. I was only as sick as my secrets. I’m glad you came back around Kizzy. It takes guts to do so after going back out. I have learned that other peoples opinions and thoughts of me are none of my business. They can own it all day. It’s how I feel about myself that matters. If they are lies, well, I could care less about them.
Peace and Love, Missed you,
Your favorite Titmonkey,
Spencer G.
THAT SUCKS BIGTIME! I WOULD TELL HER LIKE U SAID HOW DISAPPOINTED AND UPSET U ARE ABOUT THIS. AND HOPEFULLY SHE WON’T DO IT AGAIN! PEACE!