All week, I've been feeling anxiety, anger, depression and many other negative feelings more than I usually do. Its coming from the "relatives" I'm surrounded by. I call them relatives because I don't consider a 30yr old man who wants to be a irresponsible, careless, jobless&conivingdrug addict my brother, I don't consider a two-faced man to be my father and a selfish woman my mother, there is many more so In that case they are relatives, not FAMILY. But my "father" and "brother" live with me along with my two kids and its been HELL. Its been only 3mnths but I dont wanna do this arrangement anymore. In the beginning, my "father" begged me to find a bigger place because he's getting old and he wanted my "brother" to get away from him. Well I did. I found a bigger home, but my lazy "brother" followed. Since this move, I have overheard my "father" talking badly about me behind my back because I'm a single mom, and my "brother" has been stealing and not helping towards this house. He eats everything but don't buy anything, he makes excuses of why he can't find a job and I'm growing very sick of him. My "father" just shruggs his shoulders and laugh about it and talk amongst other "relatives" that has always judged, criticized, and belittled me for as long as I can remember. Boy do they kick me when I'm down. Well yesterday, me and my "brother"got into an argument and I told him if he's not gonna help in this house then he can leave. I told my "father" and he said "he's your problem, I'm not gonna worry about it". It makes me feel more alone than ever. Today I had an appt for mental health, once I went downstairs I saw him laying on my couch. So I couldn't leave knowing my kids are here and he steals things that are not his. I tried to re-schedule my appt and they could not see me anymore. Now I feel as If Im all by myself dealing with these terrible fellings with no one to talk to. I feel out of it and I'm not sure how I'm gonna handle it. Thank goodness for this website, because I get to see others share their thoughts and how they feel about their personal lives. This is tough, but its heartbreaking that I put myself out there for my "relatives" and they give me their behind to kiss. This life sucks.
Worn Out
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Thank you guys so so much for hearing me. I've always felt I had nobody to turn to untill I found this site. Each day it's a battle and I find hope through all of your words. Thanks a million, I'm glad your here.