Well im pretty sure those who have read my recent blogs are pretty much up to date on thing with my 'family' well, we now have some current events.
So last month I went on myspace and received a message… from my father!!! shock horror, I was shittin myself, I rang mum and cried cause I didn't want to open it lol (pathetic yes) so any way after about 15minutes of sobbing and mum just telling me to open the god damn message (lol) I opened it. It contained this…
Just a quik line to say i had to put Shae down yesterday because she had cancer in her mouth.
She had a good innings of 15 years, and she was the only thing that remained stable in by life. Had some very teary moments, she getting cremated and im bringing home for good.
Ok so Shae is the dog him and mum bought me when I was 5, german shepard, just beautiful love her dearly. So then I cried about Shea, bought back feelings of having my dog Bubba put down back in une from the same thing, well yeah I was slightly emotional ok lol.
So then my next problem was… do I reply?? I had no idea what to do, so mum suggested I call pop since he is a dad and SHOULD know something, so I did, pop wanted to charge me $40 for the phone counceling lol he was joking, but any way, pop had no idea himself what I should do and asked me the stupid question of what I wanted to do, (you dont ask some one that when they dont know what to do ok… lol) So then he just said reply and see what happens…. simple!!!
So then I called mum back, she had time to think about the situation and all and said " You should reply, this could be his way of breaking the ice and starting a conversation with you. This is your chance to have a relationship with your father, I've always wanted you to have a relationship with him"
My first thought was great my dads idea of a convo starter was about my childhood pet being killed!!! then I started thinking 'well mum seems to be a bit excited and hopefull it must be ok for me to aswell (since mum never gets excited)' So I replied with stuff along the lines of "I'm sorry to hear about Shea blah blah blah, tolf him what happened with my dog, ya know trying to show that we have gone through something similar, told that it was good to hear from him and asked how he is doing?"
NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol I dont know what else to say, he didn't reply. He read it and just left it.
It some what hurt because it confirmed what iI've known for like ever, like theres a difference when you know and when its confirmed.
Then the plot thinkens, me n my friend we on facebook adding randoms with our last names, well for my case she chose my dads last name, cause my last name is highly unusual and the people with it, i know lol. Then she comes across some one with the same first n last name of my dad, we think nothing of it as both names are common, sooooooo she adds this person, later that night I jump on facebook and see that this person accepted my friend request so I go snooping through information realising that this man is the same age as my dad and coinsidentally went to the same Air Force school in Penang. Now I just thought that was weird, so I look through photo's and low n behold it IS my "wonderfull" father, so I thought well it kinda looks like I've tried to make the effort by 'adding' him, he might say HI… No lol. But in his facebook profile I seem to have learnt about who he is today… well he hasn't really changed, he is onto his second marriage to a woman 10yrs older than him, openly admits he hates marriage yet proposed to this woman, his last marriage only lasting 10months which EVERYBODY knew it wouldnt last cause she tricked him saying she didnt want kids then once she legally "had" him turns around and says that she does lol. He calls his new girlie friend "fleabag" which is weird cause my first pet which was a cat I named fleabag 1. thats just weird to be called the name of your daughters cat who got smooshed by a car and 2. how flattering is 'fleabag' for a "romantic pet" name, who would wanna be called fleabag??????
And being the wonderfull investigator that I am, I have worked out that one of his friends is his girlie friends daughter… fucked up thing here is, they seem to have an ok relationship, they talk… lol yes thats it they talk, well he seems some what interested in her life and is some what involved in her life, she aint even his, and another funny thing is, me and this girl are around the same age and from what I've read have alot of the same qualities and alot in common.
Ok just quickly cause this is already a very long post. If you've read my other blog you would know that I was extremely scared about going to my cousins 21st because my nanna would be there, well I grew some balls and went to the party… THE MOLE DIDNT SHOW UP!!!!!! But so word would spread back I put on the happyest face ever, looked & felt ever so confident, hid every bit of fear I had, although my grandma fed me to glasses of wine to calm me down before hand and I polished off 2cans of bourbon within about 20 minutes of being there lol
OK thats it im done 🙂