I’m writing this blog to get something’s off my chest and to get some hurt out that I have been caring around for several weeks now. The hurt is caused by the fact that I can’t see my Grand Daughter. As you might have read before my Grand Daughter can’t come over to the house because I’m on medication for anxiety, so my son’s GF thinks that I could be unstable. 
 
Now, my wife can go see my Grand Daughter at their home, but I can not. I have a problem with driving due to my anxiety and have panic attacks when I drive. I spend most of my time at home, which is not helping, but I have been trying to drive, but the panic attacks are overwhelming. I’m a very strong person, but the driving issue has hit me hard.
 
My wife tells me we have to fit in with the GF’s family, because they are a big family and we have to be accepted by them, before they will allow me to see the baby. This is complete BS. I don’t’ agree with this kind of thinking and I won’t bend over backward to explain myself or to prove myself to a family that is ignorant to my condition. I don’t expect them to understand, because most of the time I don’t. 
 
I keep thinking that maybe I might have to kiss some butt to see my Grand Daughter, but why should I have to do this. Why should I have to prove anything just to see my Grand Daughter?
 
I’m faced with the fact that I might not be able to watch my Grand Daughter grow up or take her first steps. This is all very hard for me to accept, this is very hard for me to understand why they would take these important moments away from me, because I have anxiety. I’m very angry and I’m angry with myself I have this problem. If I didn’t have this problem I would be able to see my Grand Daughter, I would be able to drive and go back to work, this is my fault I guess.
 
My wife doesn’t give a crap about me, my son is stuck in the middle and again I am shamed for having an anxiety disorder that I never wanted in the first place. 
1 Comment
  1. maggie 12 years ago

    damn, I am so sorry Eric. I am a Grandma and I know how much this hurts. My oldest son will not allow my 2 grandsons come to my house cuz I live in Canada. I moved here 3 years ago and it pissed him off cuz I should be close to them. He is 35 and married FGS!!! I am only 5 hours away to top it all off.

    Anyway………….Your son's GF is being ridiculous but you can't change her. Nor can you put your son in the middle. I am sure part of you wants your wife and son to stand up for you but as a parent I am sure you don't want to cause any trouble between your son and his GF.

    I guess it all comes down to you being able to see your granddaughter. If it takes some kissin ass then maybe it would be worth it? You certainly do not have to explain yourself or be something that your not. If they have a big family then chances are some of them have the same issues. Anxiety is wide spread.

    As Lisa said, none of ask for this and we would gladly change it overnight if we could. Never be ashamed. Be proud of who you are and what you have to offer that sweet little girl.

    I am not as nice as Lisa…………I hope your son's GF does have to experience a big fat panic attack and then maybe she will come down of that high horse of hers!

    I am sending you big hugs and lots and lots of positive thoughts.

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