This gets to me so much. When i see a train wreck coming i ignore it and pretend like its not there. Then cry when it happens. What is the point ?

I liked this guy, though i knew fully well nothing would come of it relationship wise…but that didnt stop me from hoping. He was really interested in me at first but i quickly abolished that with my problems, lack of transpo, lack of otherwise anything that could be construed as productive or unproductive in life, its just nill. I'm working on getting everything to come into place but moving on… i really really dug this guy and mostly i think its bc hes teh only guy ive known since i moved here that i meshed with and wouldnt feel judged by or so i thought.

Anyway, skip about 5 months of me turning down get togethers, i met up with him 4 times i think, in like 5 months, but we talked online almost 24/7 UNTIL he found someone, a 32 yr old with a kid someone, Apparently they hit it off like playground kids. So what im getting at is that this crushed me but i dont know why bc i knew it was going to happen sooner or later but it crushed me not only for teh reason my hope for anything was vanished but he practically ignores me now aside from a few IM's here and there. I call this girl the "titty bomb" she blows up in my face and kills our friendship.

I guess its probably for the best, hes a recent divorcee of 7 years and hes only 28. Hes on the prowl and i doubt shell be the last taste. Still, it bugs me that im sad over this, like a lot more crushed than i ever forsaw. I just dont get myself and why i react the way i do. i guess its b/c hes all i had to keep me going , i tend to get along with males a lot more, which makes problems arise when im attracted to them.

Bleh , i guessi should take this as another learning experience and realize one day i will find better, rthats the biggest bewilderment of it all…the fact that hes not een good for me yet im so crushed. I guess im just lonely and feel loss.

i dont care about any typos tonight, im just going to post  

3 Comments
  1. AskMeIWontSayNo 14 years ago

    'Bleh , i guessi should take this as another learning experience and realize one day i will find better, rthats the biggest bewilderment of it all…the fact that hes not een good for me yet im so crushed. I guess im just lonely and feel loss.'

     

    pretty much exactly how i feel. when it seems like ive got anything even half decent with somebody i feel so crushed if nothing comes of it. suppose it's cos i've gone a long time without being with somebody, and feel the need to be with someone a lot now  

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  2. Girlncahoots 14 years ago

    Ugh, i'm so happy to have some insight from other people. You guys are the best interpals ! i guess i should sort of look at it like a blessing, now i dont have to worry about if its ever going to transpire into something else, and i was starting to feel pressure in that i didnt know how to make a friendship work when i was catching feelings. When i get that way, i cant just ignore them, but honestly he wasnt right for me and i am lonely and i think thats what it comes down to, he was the only one around and if i truly wanted to BE with him regardless of how depressed and anxiety ridden, id find a way. I think he realized before i did that he wasnt my type and vice versa.

    Bagpuss, youre right though, losing the friendship is just as bad as losing a relationship if not worse. That is what is really hitting home, now its going to be titty bomb and him and occasional talks if anything b/w us but again, probably a good thing. Right now, i actually dont feel like talking to him. I need to meet more people anyway. I'm sure i would have done the same too, i've been on the giving and receiving end and maybe this strings from a little jealousy. I'm not too proud to admit that i wish it was me who found someone, who wouldnt? It's human nature.

     Ask me i wont say no, that is why we shouldn't put so much energy into caring about something we are not sure of or if its really early on. It's a bitch and really hard for some people. 

     CJ, i wish i could always read my emotional thermometer but sometimes it never sits still 😛  And no, i didn't love him, to my recolection, if i loved him i would be a hell of a lot more crushed. 

     

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  3. quiet1 4 years ago

    Just because you steel yourself against a possible disappointment doesn’t make the disappointment any less painful. I’ve been there many times…

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