-They tend to tell  you that you aren’t enough, and that you deserve how they treat you.   Also, that you don’t deserve to be treated well.

Here Are actually quotes from my life experience.   I was the scape goat child role and the truth teller role.  Alleged bio male sibling was the golden child.

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“She isn’t worth it.   Girls don’t need to be in college prep program or go to college.”

“You ruin our family.    It would be perfect  family if you were never born.”

”No one would ever believe you if you told them what happens in this house.”

“Other people’s daughters cook better than you and clean better than you.”

”At least we let you live here.”

”We are going out as a family to have fun but you are staying here and the house had better look perfect in every room before we get back.”.

“We found you a husband, if you don’t agree to going along with it, get out now without taking anything or we are calling the police on you.”

I told alleged bio female parent that I had been  physically abused by male I was dating someone and she said that I must of done something to deserve it.

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– They regularly compare you to other people

The goal is to control you and for you to feel lucky that they “tolerate” you.

-They gaslight you.

It leads to confusion, feeling like you are not enough and questioning yourself.

– They only pay attention to you when it is convenient to them.    After the idealization period, you are a mere tool to be used or if ignored like a coffee mug!

-They don’t listen to you.

It is dehumanizing!

-They  say weird things like, “No one could ever love you.”

-They have contempt for you.

Now, this one is huge! It is a soul killer and it is classic in narcissist relationship.   It is a sense of being glared at and the look of pure disgust.

I shudder remembering how the man I almost married looked at me.   It was a chill I felt in my inner most self!

-They are bored of people easily.   Remember to them, people are objects to be used as needed.

They cheat on you because they are seeking validation, they are entitled, and they lack empathy.

It has no reflection on your self worth.

-The person with narcissistic traits does not feel like they are enough and they opt to project their negative self image onto you in order to build themselves up at your expense.

My experiences in life led to knowledge and a thirst of information to understand the “why.”

Thanks for reading. I hope that you can’t relate to any of these experiences but if you can    I wish you happiness and healing.   (((Hug))))  ❤️‍🩹

I appreciate you just reading this blog.  I feel validated!

Lacey

(I married a nice man and had 3 children. Also, I cut off all contact with abusive base family.

I was very busy raising children and now have the time to sit down process what I endured once upon a time.”)  Maybe what I went through will help someone else see their situation for what it is.  It isn’t all your fault if anyone or any people around you are abusive!