I like being insulated from the loud popping noises of the fireworks tonight. I’m in my art town’s coffee shop. Took some time to reply to a message and even got inspired to paint a watercolor. I am suffering asthma right now, which is not a good combination for all that firework powder outside. I feel bad for dogs. I wish the fireworks themselves were silent. Not too much in a celebratory mood but I’ve been trying to do my best to take it easy. Valerian root pills availiable, my backpack is a pharmacy right now. I teeter totter from allowing myself to just be, without a goal and reminding myself to grow in some way. It’s weird. It is what it is. I changed my case worker. He was super negating. Totally done with that. I’ve seen the real bigoted side of my roommate. She actually threw out my gay pride flag then, after ranting a bunch of bigoted crap, apologized and agreed to buy my things back through Ebay. She doesn’t scare me and is still more maneageable than my last roommate but I’m not being naive anymore. Can’t wait to have my own apartemnt. I tried to fundraise for Orlando. Didn’t make much but I’ll see if I can find a way to donate what  Igot directly through to a victim in the hospital, through my family members there. Patience… oh boy. 
I’ve gotten obsessed with this PSP game called Persona 4. LOVE IT!!! Leave it to the Japanese to make a video game with a profound premise, based on Jungian Psychology and Shadow work. Speaking of, Also researching and listening to a book called “Healing Developmental Trauma”. Super interesting. 
Right now, I’m waiting for a reply from a friend I had to cut ties with last year, because of how toxic our interactions had become. Thing is I love her. She’s been abused so much though, that it’s hard for her to understand that and on top, she suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, so she tested me a lot. She’s a brilliant, amazing, kind hearted person. I guess we both became a bit too codependent without realizing it and had to take a break. Through this time, shes kept sending me hints online to try to get me to communicate with her and, well, it’s been a year, so I hope things have changed. I’m willing to give it a try but with rules. I was clear on them and the boundaries I need. Now it’s up to her how she responds and what she’s willing to do. Hope it ends up alright. I just want her to be well, wether that means me being in her life or not, you know? Can’t lie and say I don’t miss her. She could keep up with me and vice versa, on ideas, growth-wor and research we were passionate about. It’s not easy to find someone like that. I hope she’s healed enough to allow us to be healthier friends.
So, this new set up for the Anxiety Tribe page is interesting. Gotta say I was a bit disoriented with it. Guess I’ll get the hang of it soon. Well, gotta go! I think Imma treat myself to some nice dinner. Take care folks! Love, Alex. ;)! 

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