And so today draws to a close. As I look back on this day, it wasn't too bad. I am already beginning to feel the healing effects of this site. And I must say, it is truly amazing. It is amazing to not feel alone anymore; to know that there are people out there just like me. And that is quite wonderful.
Ich denke, dass ich Gott danken muss. Mein Leben wird besser und besser, wenig bei wenig. Und ich kenne viele Leute lernen! Das ist wunderbar! Ich danke allen Leuten, die mir helfen. Heute war ich nicht so besorgt, was mich froh macht. Ich hoffe, froh weiterhin zu sein. Dankeschoen Gott!
So I guess I can outline my day, and try to focus on the positive parts of it:
1. Band was quite nice, since marching season is over, it is now a free period until concern season begins. It gave me time to finish up last minute homework and relax with friends.
2. German was also nice, although I did experience a little anxiety there. We had a nice Christmas party, in which every student was required to bring in a german dish. I brought in Basler Mehlsuppe, which is actually just flour soup, but it tasted great. However, the past few days my stomach has felt awefully wierd, and I experienced anxiety because I was afraid my stomach would act up with so much food (which it did, and I fought feelings of nausea all day afterwards). But guess what? The food was worth every bit of stress.
3. In Chemistry, I think… we went over some last minute things that would be on the test tomorrow. We also got a class picture with Santa, since he came to my school as a cancer society fundraiser. That was an easy and somewhat stress-free class. I found myself fidgeting quitea bit, although I had not yet gotten the shakes then.
4. English proved to be slightly beneficial: I chose a topic for my paper. The plan of my paper is to bring to light those who struggle with anxiety (moreso the fear of dying and death), and whose lives are controlled by these fears. To follow the mind of someone who has this fear and examine the reaons for a fear such as this. Then, the second half of the paper will examine the comforts that such a person find that help subdue their fear, giving them back their life. I would actually like to hold a few interviews for my paper, and if any of you are willing and/or would like to, please message me!
I ended up having an anxiety attack around 8 pm. However, a few friends on chat helped me get through it (along with my mom and grandma). By far, today has been better than the past few days. My fear has not subsided, however I have hope.
I am looking into seeing a psychiatrist. I always went to a therapist, but not a real doctor. I'm wondering if I should consider medicine to aide me in my fight against anxiety.