"The parts you want to hide,
the parts you want to erase,
the parts that embarrasses you,
the parts that you hate…

I love them"

I found this while on the internet earlier tonight, It might sound stupid but I wish someone would say something like this to me. Even though I know better then to get my hopes up for something that will never happen.

But, Does anyone else ever feel like that? Like when you read something like this or whatever and you can't help but think 'I wish someone said that to me' or 'I wish someone did that for me'. Or something of the sort.

Like even watching other people have a special someone that always if there for them, Loves them no matter how fucked up they might be, and just gives you a shoulder to cry on. Whether it's a boyfriend, a close friend, a husband or Wife, Etc.

I can't help but have bitter thoughts relating to this issue, Since I know I will never have that kind of relationship, Since I know that when it comes to friends I only scare them away like I did Ali, and it's only a matter of time before the other two leave me as well.

And I'm way to fucked up to ever find 'love', not just mentally but I'm disgusting on the inside and out for so many reasons, No one would go out with someone like that, Who cuts themselves, has eating disorders, horrible social anxiety and countless other medical problems,

Not to mention after the abuse that happened w/my cousin I don't even think I could be capable of such a pure thing like 'Love' , If I can't love myself -and I know I never will- How can someone else feel love towards me?

Eh….Sorry for the random entry, It was just a thought on my mind when I saw this quote and it's just a thought that comes up whenever the situation pops up, or my mom makes 'jokes' about it sometimes saying things like "How do you expect do find a boyfriend if you keep being so emo and anti-social?"

Honestly, With all that is going on it's obviously the last thought on my mind, And since I know I will never deserve something like that, Why bother? It just adds unneeded stress, and it's all just wishful thinking, I'm disgusting those are the facts