hi, iam carla and i need help and support.  i have suffered from anxiety and depression for 3 years now.  it was bad because i kept drinking to self medicate.  i had a breakdown about a year ago and my xanax consumption was at 4 milligrams a day. then i totally spun out of control and overdosed on about 100 xanax and 30 sleeping pills.  so very stupid i know.  i really didnt want to die, nor do i want to now, but i just lost it.  i dont know how else to describe it.  i think i just wanted everything to stop.  the job, money problems, the depression, all of it.  so very stupid. i was not aware of the dangers of xanax.  i did not know of its addicting nature or of its withdrawl symptoms, that it is harder to kick than heroin, that the withdrawl symptoms last for months, please say just months to me and not years.  i had ticks and seizurs while in the pchyc ward and of course no one cared or did anything about that.  the only relief i seem to get is when i am walking my dog.  i walk him about 3 times a day.  i have been prescibed serequel, about 500 milligrams a day and that is the only thing that helps me sleep.  i cannot drove a car nor work.  i know that my story is unique because not too many people have swallowed 100 of them so it is very severe.  i even went to a rehab hospiutal and no one knew much about xanax withdrawl.  i dont even know if im depressed or which way is up anymore.  if someone could please share some positive response to this i would greatly appreciate it and if you anyone that is going through the same thing and how they got better i would really like to hear it.  thankyou so much for allowing me to be a part of this site.  thankyou, carla